Note: I have been blessed with my continual reading on the need to be thankful, even when Thanksgiving Day is over with. As we Christians know, thanksgiving ought to be a way of life for us, not an exception to the rule. Below is another fine article from another one of my favorite bloggers – Dr. R. Albert Mohler, Jr. Below you will read how an unthankful heart is often times the root of many sins and it is certainly one clear way of not honoring God. You will like reading this article. Enjoy!
“They Did Not Honor Him as God, or Give Thanks”
Thanksgiving is a deeply theological act, rightly understood. As a matter of fact, thankfulness is a theology in microcosm -- a key to understanding what we really believe about God, ourselves, and the world we experience.
A haunting question is this: How do atheists observe Thanksgiving? I can easily understand that an atheist or agnostic would think of fellow human beings and feel led to express thankfulness and gratitude to all those who, both directly and indirectly, have contributed to their lives. But what about the blessings that cannot be ascribed to human agency? Those are both more numerous and more significant, ranging from the universe we experience to the gift of life itself.
Can one really be thankful without being thankful to someone? It makes no sense to express thankfulness to a purely naturalistic system. The late Stephen Jay Gould, an atheist and one of the foremost paleontologists and evolutionists of his day, described human life as "but a tiny, late-arising twig on life's enormously arborescent bush." Gould was a clear-headed evolutionist who took the theory of evolution to its ultimate conclusion -- human life is merely an accident, though a very happy accident for us. Within that worldview, how does thankfulness work?
The Apostle Paul points to a central insight about thankfulness when he instructs the Christians in Rome about the reality and consequences of unbelief. After making clear that God has revealed himself to all humanity through the created order, Paul asserts that we are all without excuse when it comes to our responsibility to know and worship the Creator.
He wrote:
"For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools. . ." [Romans 1:20-22].
This remarkable passage has at its center an indictment of thanklessness. They did not honor Him as God or give thanks. Paul wants us to understand that the refusal to honor God and give thanks is a raw form of the primal sin. Theologians have long debated the foundational sin -- and answers have ranged from lust to pride. Nevertheless, it would seem that being unthankful, refusing to recognize God as the source of all good things, is very close to the essence of the primal sin. What explains the rebellion of Adam and Eve in the Garden? A lack of proper thankfulness was at the core of their sin. God gave them unspeakable riches and abundance, but forbade them the fruit of one tree. A proper thankfulness would have led our first parents to avoid that fruit at all costs, and to obey the Lord's command. Taken further, this first sin was also a lack of thankfulness in that the decision to eat the forbidden fruit indicated a lack of thankfulness that took the form of an assertion that we creatures -- not the Creator -- know what is best for us and intend the best for us.
They did not honor Him as God or give thanks. Clearly, honoring God as God leads us naturally into thankfulness. To honor Him as God is to honor His limitless love, His benevolence and care, His provision and uncountable gifts. To fail in thankfulness is to fail to honor God -- and this is the biblical description of fallen and sinful humanity. We are a thankless lot.
Sinners saved by the grace and mercy of God know a thankfulness that exceeds any merely human thankfulness. How do we express thankfulness for the provision the Father has made for us in Christ, the riches that are made ours in Him, and the unspeakable gift of the surpassing grace of God? As Paul wrote to the Corinthians, "Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift" [2 Corinthians 9:15].
So, observe a wonderful Thanksgiving -- but realize that a proper Christian Thanksgiving is a deeply theological act that requires an active mind as well as a thankful heart. We need to think deeply, widely, carefully, and faithfully about the countless reasons for our thankfulness to God.
It is humbling to see that Paul so explicitly links a lack of thankfulness to sin, foolishness, and idolatry. A lack of proper thankfulness to God is a clear sign of a basic godlessness. Millions of Americans will celebrate Thanksgiving with little consciousness of this truth. Their impulse to express gratitude is a sign of their spiritual need that can be met only in Christ.
By Dr. R. Albert Mohler, Jr.
Dr. Mohler serves as the ninth president of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary-the flagship school of the Southern Baptist Convention and one of the largest seminaries in the world.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
God is For You
One of my favorite bloggers is Mark Batterson who pastors a growing church in the D.C. area. He has helpful insights, a leadership spirit and a pastor's heart. His latest blog is something I felt the need to share with you. Enjoy!
God is For You
"If God is for us then who can be against us?"
Romans 8:31
You + God = a majority. If God is on your side, there is nothing you cannot overcome. Why? Because we are more than conquerors through Christ. That is reality. That isn't optimism. It's biblical realism.
If you know that God is for you, then no challenge is too great, no problem is too big, no obstacle cannot be overcome. But most of us doubt this fundamental truth. And I believe it's one of our root spiritual problems. We aren't sure if God is really for us or against us because we allow the guilt we feel over sins committed to infect our feelings. We think God feels about us the way we feel about ourselves! We need to sanctify our feelings.
You need to settle this once and for all. God is for you. God is on your side. God is in your corner. His intentions toward you are always good. Here's an amazing promise in Psalm 84:11:
"No good thing will the Lord withhold from those who do what is right."
God is For You
"If God is for us then who can be against us?"
Romans 8:31
You + God = a majority. If God is on your side, there is nothing you cannot overcome. Why? Because we are more than conquerors through Christ. That is reality. That isn't optimism. It's biblical realism.
If you know that God is for you, then no challenge is too great, no problem is too big, no obstacle cannot be overcome. But most of us doubt this fundamental truth. And I believe it's one of our root spiritual problems. We aren't sure if God is really for us or against us because we allow the guilt we feel over sins committed to infect our feelings. We think God feels about us the way we feel about ourselves! We need to sanctify our feelings.
You need to settle this once and for all. God is for you. God is on your side. God is in your corner. His intentions toward you are always good. Here's an amazing promise in Psalm 84:11:
"No good thing will the Lord withhold from those who do what is right."
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Count Your Blessings
Note: Chuck Swindoll is always encouraging to read and listen to. Below he looks at Psalm 95 and shares some really great observations. Open your bibles today to Psalm 95 and read the Psalm carefully and prayerfully. Then follow Chuck's outline below and be blessed by some of God's amazing promises which will help you to count your blessings. I promise you will be thankful you did. Happy Thanksgiving!
Count Your Blessings
by Charles R. Swindoll
Psalm 95
Sometimes when you don't feel like praying, or you're consumed with needing to speak to the Lord but can't gather the words, try that old standby---count your many blessings, count them one by one.
lt's amazing how you can get carried away from worries and woes and self concern when you start naming out loud what you're thankful for. Right away your focus shifts from your needs to the Father's graciousness and love. Try this:
LOOK UP . . . thank You, Lord . . .
for Your sovereign control over our circumstances
for Your holy character in spite of our sinfulness
for Your Word that gives us direction
for Your grace that removes our guilt
LOOK AROUND . . . thank You, Lord . . .
for our wonderful country
for close family ties
for an opportunity to help others
for a place to live, clothes to wear, food to eat
LOOK WITHIN . . . thank You, Lord . . .
for eyes that see the beauty of Your creation
for minds that are curious, creative, and competent
for memories of pleasures and recent accomplishments
for broken dreams and lingering afflictions that humble us
for a sense of humor that brings healing and hope
He is worthy of our highest praise and gratitude. To Him goes all the glory.
If you can't pray, make a personalized list of blessings.
Count Your Blessings
by Charles R. Swindoll
Psalm 95
Sometimes when you don't feel like praying, or you're consumed with needing to speak to the Lord but can't gather the words, try that old standby---count your many blessings, count them one by one.
lt's amazing how you can get carried away from worries and woes and self concern when you start naming out loud what you're thankful for. Right away your focus shifts from your needs to the Father's graciousness and love. Try this:
LOOK UP . . . thank You, Lord . . .
for Your sovereign control over our circumstances
for Your holy character in spite of our sinfulness
for Your Word that gives us direction
for Your grace that removes our guilt
LOOK AROUND . . . thank You, Lord . . .
for our wonderful country
for close family ties
for an opportunity to help others
for a place to live, clothes to wear, food to eat
LOOK WITHIN . . . thank You, Lord . . .
for eyes that see the beauty of Your creation
for minds that are curious, creative, and competent
for memories of pleasures and recent accomplishments
for broken dreams and lingering afflictions that humble us
for a sense of humor that brings healing and hope
He is worthy of our highest praise and gratitude. To Him goes all the glory.
If you can't pray, make a personalized list of blessings.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Commanding Demons To Stand Down
Note: Remember the song that goes something like this: “I went to the enemy’s camp and took back what he stole from me. . .?” It is a song about warfare and the battle we Christians are continually engaged in over souls of others. Not a bad song. The bible does call Satan a “thief” (John 10:10). He desires to steal away our loved ones. He also wants to blind them and keep them in darkness (2 Cor. 4:4). This is why it can be very difficult to witness to a loved one or anyone for that matter especially when there are demonic interferences. Below is a good article regarding the warfare that we often face when witnessing and what to do about it.
The suggested prayer is good, but I think it does not actually go far enough. There are no scriptures. I cannot imagine praying a warfare prayer to command demons to stand down and not use at least a couple of passages from the bible. So let me suggest two you can use:
2 Corinthians 10:3-6: 3For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 6And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.
Luke 10:19: I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.
There are a lot more, but any warfare prayer ought to have passages from the Sword of the Spirit – the bible (Eph. 6:17) to offensively battle Satan and his strongholds.
Nevertheless, the article below is definitely worth reading. Enjoy!
Commanding Demons to Stand Down
So You Can Properly Witness to Someone
By Michael Bradley
s we have said over and over in many of our articles, the number one thing that we as Christians should be doing for the Lord is to lead as many souls as we possibly can into eternal salvation through Jesus Christ. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is greater and more important than leading a lost soul into the saving grace of our Lord and Savor Jesus Christ.
In this article I want to give you a very powerful spiritual warfare tactic and strategy that you can use when trying to witness to someone who has demons attached to them. As many of you probably already know, you will have a very hard time in trying to witness to someone if they have demons attached to them. The reason being is that the demons will rise up on the person as you are trying to witness to them and they will then try and prevent your words from being able to reach their minds.
The demons will try to run a shield between you and the person's mind so they will not fully understand what you are trying to tell them. The demons will either try and disorient and confuse the person you are trying to witness to, or they will try and make them mad at you. But in either event, you won't be able to "reach" the person with the message of the Gospel in order to get them saved.
If you ever run across someone who has been very hard to reach with the truth of the Gospel and you suspect that they may have demons attached to them, what you can do, before you get ready to try and witness to them, is to speak out loud to the demons, telling them that they are to stand down and to be completely silent once you walk into that room to start to witness to this person.
I have read of numerous accounts where people were having a hard time in getting some of their friends and loved ones saved due to the demons rising up on the person and disrupting the flow of the conversation. These people were not able to make any kind of headway with the people they were witnessing to as the demons were doing a good job in running interference.
But once they commanded the demons to stand down and not to interfere with the conversation, then they were able to lead their friends and family members into a true salvation experience with the Lord very quickly. This tactic and strategy is so simple, yet so effective, and it could be the key that will open up the door for you so you can get your friend or family member saved.
How to Use This Strategy
Here is an example of how you can use this specific warfare strategy, along with a sample type of battle command you can use to command the demons to stand down so you can properly witness to your friend or family member.
Example: Say you are trying to witness to your dad. He is not saved and you either know or suspect that he has demons attached to him. You have tried to witness to him numerous times before, but you can barely get him to talk about Jesus for two minutes before he either wants to change the subject matter, starts to get disoriented and confused, or he just flat out gets mad and hostile with you, telling you that he simply doesn't want to talk to you about God and Jesus.
If this is the kind of situation you have been dealing with for quite a long period of time with someone, here is what you can try and do now using this particular spiritual warfare tactic:
1. Say for example you are getting ready to see your dad on a Sunday afternoon. Before you leave the house, you start picking up from the Holy Spirit will be wanting you to try and witness to your dad once again. If you pick up that kind of leading from the Holy Spirit before you actually leave the house, you can now try to employ this strategy either at your own house before you leave to see your dad or you can do it sometime in the car before you actually arrive at your dad's place.
2. What you will now do is speak out loud to the demons, telling them that you are now getting ready to see your dad and that they are not to interfere with the conversation that you will now be having with him. You will first of all have to speak all of this type of battle command out loud to the demons so they can hear you loud and clear in the spirit realm.
There is no "distance" in the realm of the spirit, so the demons will hear you loud and clear once you start speaking out this kind of a direct command to them, even if your dad lives 50 miles away from where you live at. The Holy Spirit Himself will also make sure that they hear you loud and clear so they will fully obey all of your direct orders to them.
3. Now here is a sample type of battle command that you can use so you can cause these demons to back down on your dad so you will have free clearance and access to your dad's mind so you can properly witness to him once you get over there.
The Warfare Prayer
"In the name of Jesus Christ, I am now speaking to every single demon who is attached to my dad, either on the inside of him or on the outside of him. I will be visiting my dad this afternoon. And when I get over there, I want every single one of you to stand down and to be completely silent. I repeat, in the name of Jesus Christ, I am now commanding every single one of you to stand completely down and back off of him the minute I walk into that door to talk with him.
Demons, I now bind up each and everyone of you so you cannot move an inch on my dad and so you cannot interfere with the conversation I will now be having with him. In the name of Jesus Christ, his mind will remain perfectly free and clear from all of your evil influence as I am talking directly to him this afternoon.
Demons, once again, you are not to interfere with our conversation. You are not to try and come up into my dad's mind and block the flow of our conversation or attempt to run any kind of interference with him. In the name of Jesus Christ, you are to stand completely down and remain completely silent and still until I am completely finished with him and I walk out his front door.
In the name of Jesus Christ, this is a direct command to each and everyone of you and you are to fully obey every part of this direct command."
This would be the basic gist on how to word out this type of battle command to these demons so you will be able to properly witness to your dad once you get over to his house.
Conclusion
Again, if there are any of you out there who are having a hard time in trying to get any of your friends or family members saved, and you suspect that demons may be running some kind of interference with your witnessing attempts, do not be afraid to try this particular strategy out. You will have absolutely nothing to lose in trying this tactic out and everything to gain if by chance this tactic does work.
Sometimes something this simple will be the thing that will open up the door to get your loved one saved. I have read about this strategy numerous times in all of the spiritual warfare books I have read and there have been many documented cases where this particular strategy really did work. And when it does work, it can work very, very quickly. Sometimes the person will get saved on the very first time that you try this strategy.
This is another good spiritual warfare tactic for your arsenal should you ever need it.
The suggested prayer is good, but I think it does not actually go far enough. There are no scriptures. I cannot imagine praying a warfare prayer to command demons to stand down and not use at least a couple of passages from the bible. So let me suggest two you can use:
2 Corinthians 10:3-6: 3For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 6And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.
Luke 10:19: I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.
There are a lot more, but any warfare prayer ought to have passages from the Sword of the Spirit – the bible (Eph. 6:17) to offensively battle Satan and his strongholds.
Nevertheless, the article below is definitely worth reading. Enjoy!
Commanding Demons to Stand Down
So You Can Properly Witness to Someone
By Michael Bradley
s we have said over and over in many of our articles, the number one thing that we as Christians should be doing for the Lord is to lead as many souls as we possibly can into eternal salvation through Jesus Christ. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is greater and more important than leading a lost soul into the saving grace of our Lord and Savor Jesus Christ.
In this article I want to give you a very powerful spiritual warfare tactic and strategy that you can use when trying to witness to someone who has demons attached to them. As many of you probably already know, you will have a very hard time in trying to witness to someone if they have demons attached to them. The reason being is that the demons will rise up on the person as you are trying to witness to them and they will then try and prevent your words from being able to reach their minds.
The demons will try to run a shield between you and the person's mind so they will not fully understand what you are trying to tell them. The demons will either try and disorient and confuse the person you are trying to witness to, or they will try and make them mad at you. But in either event, you won't be able to "reach" the person with the message of the Gospel in order to get them saved.
If you ever run across someone who has been very hard to reach with the truth of the Gospel and you suspect that they may have demons attached to them, what you can do, before you get ready to try and witness to them, is to speak out loud to the demons, telling them that they are to stand down and to be completely silent once you walk into that room to start to witness to this person.
I have read of numerous accounts where people were having a hard time in getting some of their friends and loved ones saved due to the demons rising up on the person and disrupting the flow of the conversation. These people were not able to make any kind of headway with the people they were witnessing to as the demons were doing a good job in running interference.
But once they commanded the demons to stand down and not to interfere with the conversation, then they were able to lead their friends and family members into a true salvation experience with the Lord very quickly. This tactic and strategy is so simple, yet so effective, and it could be the key that will open up the door for you so you can get your friend or family member saved.
How to Use This Strategy
Here is an example of how you can use this specific warfare strategy, along with a sample type of battle command you can use to command the demons to stand down so you can properly witness to your friend or family member.
Example: Say you are trying to witness to your dad. He is not saved and you either know or suspect that he has demons attached to him. You have tried to witness to him numerous times before, but you can barely get him to talk about Jesus for two minutes before he either wants to change the subject matter, starts to get disoriented and confused, or he just flat out gets mad and hostile with you, telling you that he simply doesn't want to talk to you about God and Jesus.
If this is the kind of situation you have been dealing with for quite a long period of time with someone, here is what you can try and do now using this particular spiritual warfare tactic:
1. Say for example you are getting ready to see your dad on a Sunday afternoon. Before you leave the house, you start picking up from the Holy Spirit will be wanting you to try and witness to your dad once again. If you pick up that kind of leading from the Holy Spirit before you actually leave the house, you can now try to employ this strategy either at your own house before you leave to see your dad or you can do it sometime in the car before you actually arrive at your dad's place.
2. What you will now do is speak out loud to the demons, telling them that you are now getting ready to see your dad and that they are not to interfere with the conversation that you will now be having with him. You will first of all have to speak all of this type of battle command out loud to the demons so they can hear you loud and clear in the spirit realm.
There is no "distance" in the realm of the spirit, so the demons will hear you loud and clear once you start speaking out this kind of a direct command to them, even if your dad lives 50 miles away from where you live at. The Holy Spirit Himself will also make sure that they hear you loud and clear so they will fully obey all of your direct orders to them.
3. Now here is a sample type of battle command that you can use so you can cause these demons to back down on your dad so you will have free clearance and access to your dad's mind so you can properly witness to him once you get over there.
The Warfare Prayer
"In the name of Jesus Christ, I am now speaking to every single demon who is attached to my dad, either on the inside of him or on the outside of him. I will be visiting my dad this afternoon. And when I get over there, I want every single one of you to stand down and to be completely silent. I repeat, in the name of Jesus Christ, I am now commanding every single one of you to stand completely down and back off of him the minute I walk into that door to talk with him.
Demons, I now bind up each and everyone of you so you cannot move an inch on my dad and so you cannot interfere with the conversation I will now be having with him. In the name of Jesus Christ, his mind will remain perfectly free and clear from all of your evil influence as I am talking directly to him this afternoon.
Demons, once again, you are not to interfere with our conversation. You are not to try and come up into my dad's mind and block the flow of our conversation or attempt to run any kind of interference with him. In the name of Jesus Christ, you are to stand completely down and remain completely silent and still until I am completely finished with him and I walk out his front door.
In the name of Jesus Christ, this is a direct command to each and everyone of you and you are to fully obey every part of this direct command."
This would be the basic gist on how to word out this type of battle command to these demons so you will be able to properly witness to your dad once you get over to his house.
Conclusion
Again, if there are any of you out there who are having a hard time in trying to get any of your friends or family members saved, and you suspect that demons may be running some kind of interference with your witnessing attempts, do not be afraid to try this particular strategy out. You will have absolutely nothing to lose in trying this tactic out and everything to gain if by chance this tactic does work.
Sometimes something this simple will be the thing that will open up the door to get your loved one saved. I have read about this strategy numerous times in all of the spiritual warfare books I have read and there have been many documented cases where this particular strategy really did work. And when it does work, it can work very, very quickly. Sometimes the person will get saved on the very first time that you try this strategy.
This is another good spiritual warfare tactic for your arsenal should you ever need it.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously - No One Else Does"
Here is another great blog article by Michael Patton I want to share with you. For those who know me, they know that I am a very light-hearted person. I am passionate about the things of God, but I don't take myself too seriously on lesser things. This has caused people to often tell me, "I can't believe you are a pastor." Which is just their way of saying that I don't fit the stereotypical mindset of what a pastor is seen as. And I'm glad. Some of my worse experiences in terms of fellowship have been with pastors who take themselves, their church, their expertise, their interpretation of the bible, too seriously. But this is not true of every case for me. Recently, I got together with a group of four other pastors and we laughed our heads off -- joking, poking fun of things, laughing at ourselves, our spouses, and, yes -- even things that pertain to the ministry.
I also get together with others and we laugh at -- oh, oh, here goes -- The Obama administration and some of the things they are trying to do. We laugh not because we merely think its all just a joke, we laugh so we can relieve tension, pave the way to think more seriously, and acknowledge that despite the fact that we are all sinful human begins, God is good and in full control of our future lives. Enjoy the read!
A Theology of Not Taking Ourselves Too Seriously or “Strategic Comic Relief in Theology” by C Michael Patton, Reclaiming The Mind Ministries
I remember many years ago talking with a friend of mine about another friend. There was something about this guy that we did not like, but we could not put our finger on it. We knew this: He made us uncomfortable. He made things stuffy. You really did not know what to say when he was around. Time with him was always awkward. We would have to walk on egg shells in fear of saying the wrong thing. The wrong thing would always cause the conversation to go in a totally unexpected way.
Finally, we figured it out. He took himself too seriously. Since last week I have been in a conversation with a guy that thinks differently than I on many theological issues. From a distance, I would think that we would not get along at all. But such is not the case. Though we differ in many ways—passionately differ—we are having the best time in this long-distance fellowship. Why? Because this guy knows how to lighten things up in order for conversation to take place. He is very wise. He intentionally does not take himself too seriously at pivotal points. He lightens the conversation when it begins to become burdensome. He recognizes it is not about him or what I think of him.
Chuck Swindoll used to say (you know I have a quote from him!), “Don’t take yourself too seriously…after all, no one else does!”
Sometimes we get caught in a trap of taking ourselves too seriously about everything. We take ourselves so seriously that our relationships suffer. We take ourselves so seriously that no one wants to be around us. We take ourselves so seriously that we lose all our influence. We take ourselves so seriously that the very thought of being around us becomes burdensome. Some of us just need to lighten up . . . a lot!
Some characteristics of those who take themselves too seriously:
Can’t look bad in front of others
Are always concerned about their image as they think others see it
If someone thinks badly about them they respond in anger, sometimes even violence
Disgruntled attitude
Always have to get in the last word (or they might look bad)
Always must respond (book length) to what others say bad about them
Always trying to prove themselves to everyone else
They are the martyr in every circumstance
Can’t take it when people make light-hearted jokes about them
They are always right
They see themselves as the example of truth, stability, and excellence in humanity
Never can be the butt of a joke
Most certainly, they will never be found making fun of themselves
Oh, and here are some adjectives that go along with it: annoyed, testy, bellyaching, crabby, cranky, always disappointed, peeved, put out, discontent, discontented, griping, always irritated about some thing, malcontent, malcontented, and sulky.
It is not as though we hope for people who are always joking, jesting, light-hearted, never taking themselves or anyone else seriously (we have all been around this type as well), but many of us need some intentional and strategic comic relief for the sake of others and for the sake of ourselves.
As tragic as this is when people take themselves too seriously in life, it is much more so in theology. Of course, like with life in general, we need to take it seriously—very seriously. But we should be careful not to let our passions be a cause for being unnecessarily burdensome and heavy in our personality. Many of us need to take ten and laugh a bit.
Many of us need to learn to laugh at ourselves. And we need to let others laugh with us and at us!
What are we? Theological narcissists? Evangelicals, we need to laugh at ourselves every once in awhile and let others laugh with us. Catholics, the same. Baptists, Presbyterians, Orthodox, and Arminians as well. In fact, this goes for everyone. Lighten up! Lighten up so that we can listen.
Calvinists: come on! There are plenty of ways we need to lighten the loads. Some Calvinists, we need to take 20 30!
Premillennialists: can’t we talk about our charts all day and get some laughs?
This was the death of the emerging movement. No one wanted to be around them. They took themselves way too seriously. I know: I tried. I understood. I agreed on many things. I just could not be around them. It was always the someone-has-done-me-wrong-and-I-am-mad-about-everything mentality.
It is really a sign of maturity when you can lighten things up. With teens, everything is the end of the world. They don’t have the ability to step away from themselves and see how their personal intensity is rather comical. Everything is too serious.
“But wait! If we don’t take ourselves seriously, others won’t either.”
This is simply not true. If you said, “If we don’t ever take ourselves seriously, others won’t either,” this would be true. I am simply saying that we need to lighten up every once in awhile. The fact is that when we lighten things up, people will take us more seriously when it matters. As well, people won’t feel so burdened to be around us.
Let’s take a cue from marriage conferences. They know how to make couples laugh. They poke fun at the idiosyncrasies in both husbands and wives. I often go to Family Life Conferences just to laugh at myself. They know they have to provide some comic relief precisely because the subject is so intense and needs to be taken seriously.
The evangelical blog world out there has become so intense that I don’t want to keep up. The intensity causes us to lose our perspective. Polemics can be wearying.
My point is simple. Theological discourse needs to have a time-out for comic relief.
Tomas Oden gets this: “Because of piety’s penchant for taking itself too seriously, theology–more than literary, humanistic, and scientific studies–does well to nurture a modest, unguarded sense of comedy. Some comic sensibility is required to keep in due proportion the pompous pretensions of the study of divinity. I invite the kind of laughter that wells up not from cynicism about reflection on God but from the ironic contradictions accompanying such reflections. Theology is intrinsically funny. This comes from glimpsing the incongruity of humans thinking about God. I have often laughed at myself as these sentences went through their tortuous stages of formation. I invite you to look for the comic dimension of divinity that stalks every page. It is not blasphemy to grasp the human contradiction for what it is. The most enjoyable of all subjects has to be God, because God is the source of all joy.”
Michael J. G. Pahls gets it too, “Never attempt the task of theology without a smirk on your face and never trust a theologian who lacks one.”
Let’s try to lighten up every once in a while. Let’s let go of the burden here and there. Let’s not give people any more excuses than they already have for not wanting to be around us. The Gospel is an offense enough. We need to quit adding to it by our theological narcissism.
I also get together with others and we laugh at -- oh, oh, here goes -- The Obama administration and some of the things they are trying to do. We laugh not because we merely think its all just a joke, we laugh so we can relieve tension, pave the way to think more seriously, and acknowledge that despite the fact that we are all sinful human begins, God is good and in full control of our future lives. Enjoy the read!
A Theology of Not Taking Ourselves Too Seriously or “Strategic Comic Relief in Theology” by C Michael Patton, Reclaiming The Mind Ministries
I remember many years ago talking with a friend of mine about another friend. There was something about this guy that we did not like, but we could not put our finger on it. We knew this: He made us uncomfortable. He made things stuffy. You really did not know what to say when he was around. Time with him was always awkward. We would have to walk on egg shells in fear of saying the wrong thing. The wrong thing would always cause the conversation to go in a totally unexpected way.
Finally, we figured it out. He took himself too seriously. Since last week I have been in a conversation with a guy that thinks differently than I on many theological issues. From a distance, I would think that we would not get along at all. But such is not the case. Though we differ in many ways—passionately differ—we are having the best time in this long-distance fellowship. Why? Because this guy knows how to lighten things up in order for conversation to take place. He is very wise. He intentionally does not take himself too seriously at pivotal points. He lightens the conversation when it begins to become burdensome. He recognizes it is not about him or what I think of him.
Chuck Swindoll used to say (you know I have a quote from him!), “Don’t take yourself too seriously…after all, no one else does!”
Sometimes we get caught in a trap of taking ourselves too seriously about everything. We take ourselves so seriously that our relationships suffer. We take ourselves so seriously that no one wants to be around us. We take ourselves so seriously that we lose all our influence. We take ourselves so seriously that the very thought of being around us becomes burdensome. Some of us just need to lighten up . . . a lot!
Some characteristics of those who take themselves too seriously:
Can’t look bad in front of others
Are always concerned about their image as they think others see it
If someone thinks badly about them they respond in anger, sometimes even violence
Disgruntled attitude
Always have to get in the last word (or they might look bad)
Always must respond (book length) to what others say bad about them
Always trying to prove themselves to everyone else
They are the martyr in every circumstance
Can’t take it when people make light-hearted jokes about them
They are always right
They see themselves as the example of truth, stability, and excellence in humanity
Never can be the butt of a joke
Most certainly, they will never be found making fun of themselves
Oh, and here are some adjectives that go along with it: annoyed, testy, bellyaching, crabby, cranky, always disappointed, peeved, put out, discontent, discontented, griping, always irritated about some thing, malcontent, malcontented, and sulky.
It is not as though we hope for people who are always joking, jesting, light-hearted, never taking themselves or anyone else seriously (we have all been around this type as well), but many of us need some intentional and strategic comic relief for the sake of others and for the sake of ourselves.
As tragic as this is when people take themselves too seriously in life, it is much more so in theology. Of course, like with life in general, we need to take it seriously—very seriously. But we should be careful not to let our passions be a cause for being unnecessarily burdensome and heavy in our personality. Many of us need to take ten and laugh a bit.
Many of us need to learn to laugh at ourselves. And we need to let others laugh with us and at us!
What are we? Theological narcissists? Evangelicals, we need to laugh at ourselves every once in awhile and let others laugh with us. Catholics, the same. Baptists, Presbyterians, Orthodox, and Arminians as well. In fact, this goes for everyone. Lighten up! Lighten up so that we can listen.
Calvinists: come on! There are plenty of ways we need to lighten the loads. Some Calvinists, we need to take 20 30!
Premillennialists: can’t we talk about our charts all day and get some laughs?
This was the death of the emerging movement. No one wanted to be around them. They took themselves way too seriously. I know: I tried. I understood. I agreed on many things. I just could not be around them. It was always the someone-has-done-me-wrong-and-I-am-mad-about-everything mentality.
It is really a sign of maturity when you can lighten things up. With teens, everything is the end of the world. They don’t have the ability to step away from themselves and see how their personal intensity is rather comical. Everything is too serious.
“But wait! If we don’t take ourselves seriously, others won’t either.”
This is simply not true. If you said, “If we don’t ever take ourselves seriously, others won’t either,” this would be true. I am simply saying that we need to lighten up every once in awhile. The fact is that when we lighten things up, people will take us more seriously when it matters. As well, people won’t feel so burdened to be around us.
Let’s take a cue from marriage conferences. They know how to make couples laugh. They poke fun at the idiosyncrasies in both husbands and wives. I often go to Family Life Conferences just to laugh at myself. They know they have to provide some comic relief precisely because the subject is so intense and needs to be taken seriously.
The evangelical blog world out there has become so intense that I don’t want to keep up. The intensity causes us to lose our perspective. Polemics can be wearying.
My point is simple. Theological discourse needs to have a time-out for comic relief.
Tomas Oden gets this: “Because of piety’s penchant for taking itself too seriously, theology–more than literary, humanistic, and scientific studies–does well to nurture a modest, unguarded sense of comedy. Some comic sensibility is required to keep in due proportion the pompous pretensions of the study of divinity. I invite the kind of laughter that wells up not from cynicism about reflection on God but from the ironic contradictions accompanying such reflections. Theology is intrinsically funny. This comes from glimpsing the incongruity of humans thinking about God. I have often laughed at myself as these sentences went through their tortuous stages of formation. I invite you to look for the comic dimension of divinity that stalks every page. It is not blasphemy to grasp the human contradiction for what it is. The most enjoyable of all subjects has to be God, because God is the source of all joy.”
Michael J. G. Pahls gets it too, “Never attempt the task of theology without a smirk on your face and never trust a theologian who lacks one.”
Let’s try to lighten up every once in a while. Let’s let go of the burden here and there. Let’s not give people any more excuses than they already have for not wanting to be around us. The Gospel is an offense enough. We need to quit adding to it by our theological narcissism.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Don't Got Government Healthcare? Go To Jail!
Note: If you are keeping up with the Health Care debate, and I sure hope you are since it will greatly affect you and your family, here are two items worth noting. The first I want to share with you is from a senior who wrote a letter to his editor. It is about “health-care rationing” that’s occurring right now! If the Obama healthcare bill is passed, this kind of stuff will be commonplace. Second, did you know that if you do not want to purchase the government healthcare, you could be thrown in jail? Seriously, check out the Youtube video and hear it yourself spoken by the House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi.
Mr. Obama: I'm calling you out
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
By William Piercey Sr.
The new era of government control over our lives and freedoms has begun. This week, it got personal, and I felt helpless.
The doctor overseeing my health care advised me to get an H1N1 flu shot. I've been under a six-year treatment program for a chronic infection, plus I have heart and lung problems. Therefore, I am considered a high risk. Fortunately, my doctor had three shots available, but I would have to get approval from my county health department. Much to my surprise, the woman at the health department apologized and told me that even though I was a senior citizen at high risk, the health department had been instructed to approve shots only for children and pregnant mothers. I asked when a shot for my situation might be available. "We really don't know. Check back with us sometime in December."
What? The terrorist detainees in Gitmo are getting shots this month. Why not a high-risk senior citizen?
Mr. Obama, this is what we call health care rationing, which you claim won't happen under a government-run health care program.
If George W. Bush was considered the Barney Fife of executive power, then welcome to the Chicago-style politics of the new Vito Corleone family. The president himself, like a strong-armed enforcer, said in a nationally televised speech, "If you misrepresent anything in this plan, I will call you out." This administration has turned the once dignified and esteemed Oval Office into a war room for its liberal propaganda.
On his first day in office, the president signed the Ethics Commitments by Executive Branch Personnel executive order. During the campaign he vowed to keep lobbyists out of the administration. But in Section 3 of this order is a waiver clause. The director of the Office of Management and Budget "may grant" a written waiver of any restrictions. Former lobbyists were given waivers and now hold key positions in government. Mr. Obama, you lied.
At the same time lobbyists were coming in the front door, dozens of new unvetted, hand-picked ideologues were being shuttled in the back door. Many of these people were placed in key policymaking positions. U.S. Sen. Susan Collins of Maine was worried about 18 of these unvetted czars, 10 of whom worked in the White House. An amendment to force these appointees to testify in oversight hearings was shot down by the Democratic leadership. Collins was especially concerned about Carol Browner, who negotiated fuel-economy standards with the auto industry. She even sent a letter to Obama, and one of his counsels replied that no one would be made available. This administration fears no one, especially a senator who dares to enforce something as minor as checks and balances. Obama promised transparency. He lied.
On the topic of transparency, the $787 billion stimulus bill was a progressive Trojan horse. It's loaded with political favors and programs that set up the infrastructure for education, health care and climate change. It was passed and signed in a matter of weeks. This was not a bill to put Americans back to work. Obama said it would produce 3.5 million jobs in two years. Over the past year the administration has changed its story daily but finally settled on the "create or save" propaganda. Obama also said the bill would keep unemployment under 8 percent. The rate has climbed to over 10 percent. Either his economic advisers are incompetent and need to be fired, or, once again, Mr. President, you lied.
Mr. President, you said you didn't want to run our car companies and banks, but you do. With the $350 billion in TARP funds left by President Bush, Obama's people continued the surge of bailouts. Americans might be shocked to know the recipients of bailout money now total 727 institutions. This government control in the private sector is unprecedented.
Government-run health care, card check, cap-and-trade, net neutrality, control of radio stations and possible newspaper bailouts are just part of this administration's agenda.
It's time for Americans to get in this government's face and call it out. This coup d'etat can be defeated. We have the numbers, the votes and the will power to turn back this assault on our individual freedoms.
With 15 million unemployed Americans, I'm sure we can find a few willing patriots to fill all those upcoming vacant seats in Washington, especially with an annual salary of $170,000, office, staff, insurance, expense account and, best of all, a three-day workweek. The only requirements for this job are honesty, integrity and a love of country.
William Piercey Sr. is a Cape Girardeau resident.
http://www.semissourian.com/story/1586060.html
Youtube Video
Below is a transcript of what House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said.
This is last Monday in Seattle at a Swedish Medical Center press conference. Pelosi spoke to the press. A news reporter, Shomari Stone, said, "Do you think it's fair to send people to jail for not buying health insurance?"
PELOSI: For a long time now people who haven't had health care or provided it have placed the burden on others. Everybody is paying the price for uncompensated care. I don't need to tell you that in a hospital. And so what this is is to say we all have to do our part and that is the point of the bill.
STONE: But, Madam Speaker, I'm just trying to understand. If you don't buy health insurance, you go to jail? You didn't answer my question.
PELOSI: There -- there is, uh, uh -- there is -- I think the legislation is very fair in this respect.
So there it is folks. For those who choose not to purchase the Obama Healthcare or possibly remain with their own private insurance – go to jail! And while in jail, guess what kind of healthcare you will be getting? Obama Healthcare. So either way you look at things, this is something that will be shoved down our throats!
You say, “This could not possibly happen here in America.” It is time to get our heads out of the sand and see the hand-writing on the wall. Yes it can. I know it seems far fetched, but that will all change when this hits closer to home and starts affecting each of us on a personal level.
We are all being conditioned to live no longer under a democracy, but a dictatorship. This is the kind of government the bible describes during the Tribulation Period. We are seeing the shadows of such government occurring in our lifetime. This is truly exciting! As we make our way toward a dictatorship, many who call themselves Christians will be forced to choose between Jesus or Caesar. And the stakes will be high!
Folks, now is the time to strengthen your faith and walk with the Lord. Don’t wait until you are forced too. Do it while you have the freedom to do so. Now is God’s gift to us.
Mr. Obama: I'm calling you out
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
By William Piercey Sr.
The new era of government control over our lives and freedoms has begun. This week, it got personal, and I felt helpless.
The doctor overseeing my health care advised me to get an H1N1 flu shot. I've been under a six-year treatment program for a chronic infection, plus I have heart and lung problems. Therefore, I am considered a high risk. Fortunately, my doctor had three shots available, but I would have to get approval from my county health department. Much to my surprise, the woman at the health department apologized and told me that even though I was a senior citizen at high risk, the health department had been instructed to approve shots only for children and pregnant mothers. I asked when a shot for my situation might be available. "We really don't know. Check back with us sometime in December."
What? The terrorist detainees in Gitmo are getting shots this month. Why not a high-risk senior citizen?
Mr. Obama, this is what we call health care rationing, which you claim won't happen under a government-run health care program.
If George W. Bush was considered the Barney Fife of executive power, then welcome to the Chicago-style politics of the new Vito Corleone family. The president himself, like a strong-armed enforcer, said in a nationally televised speech, "If you misrepresent anything in this plan, I will call you out." This administration has turned the once dignified and esteemed Oval Office into a war room for its liberal propaganda.
On his first day in office, the president signed the Ethics Commitments by Executive Branch Personnel executive order. During the campaign he vowed to keep lobbyists out of the administration. But in Section 3 of this order is a waiver clause. The director of the Office of Management and Budget "may grant" a written waiver of any restrictions. Former lobbyists were given waivers and now hold key positions in government. Mr. Obama, you lied.
At the same time lobbyists were coming in the front door, dozens of new unvetted, hand-picked ideologues were being shuttled in the back door. Many of these people were placed in key policymaking positions. U.S. Sen. Susan Collins of Maine was worried about 18 of these unvetted czars, 10 of whom worked in the White House. An amendment to force these appointees to testify in oversight hearings was shot down by the Democratic leadership. Collins was especially concerned about Carol Browner, who negotiated fuel-economy standards with the auto industry. She even sent a letter to Obama, and one of his counsels replied that no one would be made available. This administration fears no one, especially a senator who dares to enforce something as minor as checks and balances. Obama promised transparency. He lied.
On the topic of transparency, the $787 billion stimulus bill was a progressive Trojan horse. It's loaded with political favors and programs that set up the infrastructure for education, health care and climate change. It was passed and signed in a matter of weeks. This was not a bill to put Americans back to work. Obama said it would produce 3.5 million jobs in two years. Over the past year the administration has changed its story daily but finally settled on the "create or save" propaganda. Obama also said the bill would keep unemployment under 8 percent. The rate has climbed to over 10 percent. Either his economic advisers are incompetent and need to be fired, or, once again, Mr. President, you lied.
Mr. President, you said you didn't want to run our car companies and banks, but you do. With the $350 billion in TARP funds left by President Bush, Obama's people continued the surge of bailouts. Americans might be shocked to know the recipients of bailout money now total 727 institutions. This government control in the private sector is unprecedented.
Government-run health care, card check, cap-and-trade, net neutrality, control of radio stations and possible newspaper bailouts are just part of this administration's agenda.
It's time for Americans to get in this government's face and call it out. This coup d'etat can be defeated. We have the numbers, the votes and the will power to turn back this assault on our individual freedoms.
With 15 million unemployed Americans, I'm sure we can find a few willing patriots to fill all those upcoming vacant seats in Washington, especially with an annual salary of $170,000, office, staff, insurance, expense account and, best of all, a three-day workweek. The only requirements for this job are honesty, integrity and a love of country.
William Piercey Sr. is a Cape Girardeau resident.
http://www.semissourian.com/story/1586060.html
Refuse to Purchase the Government Healthcare? Then Go to Jail!
Youtube Video
Below is a transcript of what House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said.
This is last Monday in Seattle at a Swedish Medical Center press conference. Pelosi spoke to the press. A news reporter, Shomari Stone, said, "Do you think it's fair to send people to jail for not buying health insurance?"
PELOSI: For a long time now people who haven't had health care or provided it have placed the burden on others. Everybody is paying the price for uncompensated care. I don't need to tell you that in a hospital. And so what this is is to say we all have to do our part and that is the point of the bill.
STONE: But, Madam Speaker, I'm just trying to understand. If you don't buy health insurance, you go to jail? You didn't answer my question.
PELOSI: There -- there is, uh, uh -- there is -- I think the legislation is very fair in this respect.
So there it is folks. For those who choose not to purchase the Obama Healthcare or possibly remain with their own private insurance – go to jail! And while in jail, guess what kind of healthcare you will be getting? Obama Healthcare. So either way you look at things, this is something that will be shoved down our throats!
You say, “This could not possibly happen here in America.” It is time to get our heads out of the sand and see the hand-writing on the wall. Yes it can. I know it seems far fetched, but that will all change when this hits closer to home and starts affecting each of us on a personal level.
We are all being conditioned to live no longer under a democracy, but a dictatorship. This is the kind of government the bible describes during the Tribulation Period. We are seeing the shadows of such government occurring in our lifetime. This is truly exciting! As we make our way toward a dictatorship, many who call themselves Christians will be forced to choose between Jesus or Caesar. And the stakes will be high!
Folks, now is the time to strengthen your faith and walk with the Lord. Don’t wait until you are forced too. Do it while you have the freedom to do so. Now is God’s gift to us.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Deadly Denial
Note: Did you not hear the media say all weekend, “Why did he do it?” when referring to Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan who had gunned down in cold blood thirteen of his comrades and injured thirty more. As I kept hearing such things, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Maj. Hasan did it because he was an Islamic terrorist! What we heard about at Fort Hood, Texas was what our brave American men and women are fighting against in Iraq and Afghanistan. What you will read in this article below, you will not find too easily in the news media on TV.
You may not have heard about this, but on Thursday, November 5, 2009, the House Judiciary Committee voted to strip the Patriot Act of a provision allowing the government to spy on people who are not linked to known terrorist groups.
And so we hear endlessly the question, “Why did he do it?” He did it because those who knew about his involvement with Al-Qaeda could not say anything.
Political correctness is nothing more than a movement of distorted lies using carefully chosen words and phrases to mask the truth. We are told by Jesus who the “father of lies” is (John 8:44). The article below will strip away such lies and enable you to interact with the truth.
The New York Post
Deadly denial
By RALPH PETERS
Last Updated: 1:54 AM, November 10, 2009
Posted: 12:28 AM, November 10, 2009
As President Obama belatedly appears at Fort Hood today, will he dare to speak the word "terror?"
He won't use the word "Islamist." If he mentions Islam at all, it'll be to sing its praises yet again.
We've already learned that Islamist terrorist Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan attended the Northern Virginia mosque of Imam Anwar al-Aulaqi, a fiery al Qaeda supporter who later fled the United States. We know that Hasan's peers, subordinates and patients repeatedly raised red flags that his superiors suppressed. We know he was a player on Islamist-extremist Web sites. The FBI's uncovering one extremist link after another.
But to call this an act of terrorism, the White House would need an autographed photo of Osama bin Laden helping Hasan buy weapons in downtown Killeen, Texas. Even that might not suffice.
Islamist terrorists don't all have al Qaeda union cards in their wallets. Terrorism's increasingly the domain of entrepreneurs and independent contractors. Under Muslim jurisprudence, jihad's an individual responsibility. Hasan was a self-appointed jihadi.
Yet we're told he was just having a bad day.
Our politically correct Army plays along. Chief of Staff Gen. George Casey won't utter the word "terrorism." The Forces Command Public Affairs Office guidance for officers never mentions "Islam" or "terror," leaving you unsure whether there was a traffic accident down at Fort Hood, or maybe an outbreak of swine flu.
Meanwhile, the media try to turn Hasan into a victim. A sickening (and amateurish) Washington Post article portrayed him as a poor, impoverished minority living in a $320-a-month rathole apartment and driving a down-market car -- as if the squalor made him a terrorist.
Squalor he chose to live in, by the way: As a major drawing added professional pay for his medical credentials, plus his benefits, Hasan made a six-figure income. And he was single, without college loans or medical bills. Has anybody asked where the money went? I'll bet a chunk of it disappeared in cash donations to hard-core Islamist causes. Will a single journalist track the missing bucks?
It gets worse: On Sunday evening, a ranking officer in Hasan's medical chain of command raced to cover her butt. Asked why the killer was promoted to major after receiving career-killer performance reviews at Walter Reed, the officer claimed that Hasan faced the same promotion board requirements as everyone else.
Liar, liar, uniform on fire: A dirty big secret in our Army has been that officers' promotion boards have quotas for minorities. We don't call them quotas, of course. But if a board doesn't hit the floor numbers, its results are held up until the list has been corrected. It's almost impossible for the Army's politically correct promotion system to pass over a Muslim physician.
Sen. Joe Lieberman, one of the few lawmakers willing to whisper the word "terrorism," needs to call the officers who sat on Hasan's promotion board before the Senate, put them under oath, then ask if Hasan made major because of minority-quota requirements.
This corrupt (and now deadly) affirmative-action system does a severe disservice to the bulk of minority officers, who make the grade on quality and professionalism. It leaves other officers wondering if the new guy who just showed up in the unit is a "real" officer or an affirmative-action baby.
Ditto for our government's unwillingness to take on Muslim extremists on US soil. Blathering about freedom of religion, we foster hate speech. By protecting the fanatics, we betray the peaceful majority of our Muslim citizens, leaving them afraid to speak out, since the feds shield the fanatics in charge of their mosques and communities.
Let's be clear: Maj. Hasan's terrorism should not result in a witch hunt against Muslim service members. But soldiers who happen to be Muslims must be subject to the same level of scrutiny and discipline as those of other faiths.
Just as we'd expect the Army to get rid of a disruptive white supremacist, we need to cashier anyone who espouses violent Islamist extremism -- as Maj. Hasan did, again and again.
We won't. Because Islamist terrorism doesn't exist. Just ignore the dead and ask our president.
You may not have heard about this, but on Thursday, November 5, 2009, the House Judiciary Committee voted to strip the Patriot Act of a provision allowing the government to spy on people who are not linked to known terrorist groups.
And so we hear endlessly the question, “Why did he do it?” He did it because those who knew about his involvement with Al-Qaeda could not say anything.
Political correctness is nothing more than a movement of distorted lies using carefully chosen words and phrases to mask the truth. We are told by Jesus who the “father of lies” is (John 8:44). The article below will strip away such lies and enable you to interact with the truth.
The New York Post
Deadly denial
By RALPH PETERS
Last Updated: 1:54 AM, November 10, 2009
Posted: 12:28 AM, November 10, 2009
As President Obama belatedly appears at Fort Hood today, will he dare to speak the word "terror?"
He won't use the word "Islamist." If he mentions Islam at all, it'll be to sing its praises yet again.
We've already learned that Islamist terrorist Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan attended the Northern Virginia mosque of Imam Anwar al-Aulaqi, a fiery al Qaeda supporter who later fled the United States. We know that Hasan's peers, subordinates and patients repeatedly raised red flags that his superiors suppressed. We know he was a player on Islamist-extremist Web sites. The FBI's uncovering one extremist link after another.
But to call this an act of terrorism, the White House would need an autographed photo of Osama bin Laden helping Hasan buy weapons in downtown Killeen, Texas. Even that might not suffice.
Islamist terrorists don't all have al Qaeda union cards in their wallets. Terrorism's increasingly the domain of entrepreneurs and independent contractors. Under Muslim jurisprudence, jihad's an individual responsibility. Hasan was a self-appointed jihadi.
Yet we're told he was just having a bad day.
Our politically correct Army plays along. Chief of Staff Gen. George Casey won't utter the word "terrorism." The Forces Command Public Affairs Office guidance for officers never mentions "Islam" or "terror," leaving you unsure whether there was a traffic accident down at Fort Hood, or maybe an outbreak of swine flu.
Meanwhile, the media try to turn Hasan into a victim. A sickening (and amateurish) Washington Post article portrayed him as a poor, impoverished minority living in a $320-a-month rathole apartment and driving a down-market car -- as if the squalor made him a terrorist.
Squalor he chose to live in, by the way: As a major drawing added professional pay for his medical credentials, plus his benefits, Hasan made a six-figure income. And he was single, without college loans or medical bills. Has anybody asked where the money went? I'll bet a chunk of it disappeared in cash donations to hard-core Islamist causes. Will a single journalist track the missing bucks?
It gets worse: On Sunday evening, a ranking officer in Hasan's medical chain of command raced to cover her butt. Asked why the killer was promoted to major after receiving career-killer performance reviews at Walter Reed, the officer claimed that Hasan faced the same promotion board requirements as everyone else.
Liar, liar, uniform on fire: A dirty big secret in our Army has been that officers' promotion boards have quotas for minorities. We don't call them quotas, of course. But if a board doesn't hit the floor numbers, its results are held up until the list has been corrected. It's almost impossible for the Army's politically correct promotion system to pass over a Muslim physician.
Sen. Joe Lieberman, one of the few lawmakers willing to whisper the word "terrorism," needs to call the officers who sat on Hasan's promotion board before the Senate, put them under oath, then ask if Hasan made major because of minority-quota requirements.
This corrupt (and now deadly) affirmative-action system does a severe disservice to the bulk of minority officers, who make the grade on quality and professionalism. It leaves other officers wondering if the new guy who just showed up in the unit is a "real" officer or an affirmative-action baby.
Ditto for our government's unwillingness to take on Muslim extremists on US soil. Blathering about freedom of religion, we foster hate speech. By protecting the fanatics, we betray the peaceful majority of our Muslim citizens, leaving them afraid to speak out, since the feds shield the fanatics in charge of their mosques and communities.
Let's be clear: Maj. Hasan's terrorism should not result in a witch hunt against Muslim service members. But soldiers who happen to be Muslims must be subject to the same level of scrutiny and discipline as those of other faiths.
Just as we'd expect the Army to get rid of a disruptive white supremacist, we need to cashier anyone who espouses violent Islamist extremism -- as Maj. Hasan did, again and again.
We won't. Because Islamist terrorism doesn't exist. Just ignore the dead and ask our president.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Toxic Alliances: Relationships that Hinder Your Growth
Note: God loves relationships. Christianity grows from it. Even the God-head enjoys relationships with other members – Father, Son and Holy Spirit. But some relationships are to be avoided. If not, it can become extremely toxic.
Below is a wonderful article by Dondi Scumaci. She explores the different kinds of toxic relationships we often find ourselves in and she appropriately gives easy descriptions so the reader can recognize the apparent danger. Enjoy!
Toxic Alliances: Relationships that Hinder Your Growth
Dondi Scumaci
Author of Ready, Set... Grow!
In terms of pure definition, an alliance is an agreement, partnership, or connection. Stand those words next to toxic, and you have a dangerous alliance, a poisonous connection, or a deadly agreement. That understanding alone should be motivation enough to pull toxic influences from your life!
What this really means is that sometimes we must pull people from our lives. I do not say that flippantly. It can be difficult and painful to end a relationship. What is even worse is allowing a relationship—even a long-term one—to derail you, incapacitate you, or steal your credibility and your joy.
While we may not purposefully align or partner with toxic people, we do that when we passively accept or participate in their behavior. When we don’t remove ourselves from the situation or confront the behavior, we endorse it by default. (This can be one of those “it’s not what you say or do; it’s what you don’t say or do” scenarios.)
When you get right down to it, there are basically two groups of people in the world. In the first group are people who encourage and believe in you. They add something to you. When you leave their presence you feel better. You are more confident, more prepared, and equipped. These people export hope!
The second group I call vampire people, because they suck the life out of everything and everyone they touch! You can almost hear the giant vacuum fire up when they walk into a room. These people are absolutely miserable, they love company, and they are constantly recruiting members. (By the way, membership is not free. It will cost you more than you can imagine.)
In the workplace, toxic alliances are co-workers who constantly draw others into negative conversations. They are the ones who want to argue incessantly and debate trivial points. (They swat at gnats while elephants stomp all over them.) These people draw energy (and attention) from gossip, criticism, arguing, and whining. They terrorize meetings, projects, and teams. They aren’t just connected to the rumor mill—they manage it!
You know the type; they are famous for throwing rocks to get everyone stirred up, innocently hiding their hands and standing back to watch the show. (At this point, faces and names may be flashing before your eyes!)
In our personal and professional lives, toxic people are colleagues, friends, and family members who criticize, attack, and divide. They are often masters of the dig. They don’t really come right out and say things; they insinuate them and leave you wondering, “What did that mean?” They use sarcasm like a precision tool to push your buttons and enjoy holding up your weaknesses for the world to see. They twist the truth with amazing skill until it is unrecognizable. Quite often, toxic behavior crosses the line of integrity and becomes unethical behavior.
We don’t pick our family, right? That is probably true for co-workers and colleagues as well. We don’t always get to choose whom we work with or for. We do control how we interact with the people in our personal and professional lives. We control our boundaries and our scripts. We control access to our hot buttons!
Ask yourself these questions to see if you have a toxic relationship poisoning the soil of your heart:
• Is there anyone planting negative, critical beliefs into your life right now? When you are with this person, how do you feel?
• Is there a relationship in your life that is pulling you backward, blocking your growth, and undermining your progress? What is that costing you?
• Is there a relationship marked by broken trust, unresolved conflict, and destructive communication? How much of your strength are you giving to this?
• Is there someone in your life who compromises your boundaries or ethics? What impact is that having?
• Are there behaviors you are passively endorsing to avoid conflict? What do you risk with your silence?
Questions like these allow you to step back and assess the situation. At the same time, you will want to consider your role. How are you enabling or perpetuating the toxic pattern? And if you really want to do some soul searching, ask yourself this tough question: What is the payoff? What do you gain from this toxic relationship? (Or what will you give up if the situation improves?) You may be surprised by your answers here.
Sometimes we hold on to a toxic situation because we get something from it. For example, we get to feel superior, or we get our grievances validated. If you find a payoff in your toxic situation, you must be willing to give that up before you can move forward in an authentic way.
Loyalty also connects us to toxic people. We don’t want to abandon or hurt them, so we stay. We continue to give them our strength, but they don’t get stronger—we get weaker. The relationship is very one-sided—one person gives and another takes. This is also called codependency. It isn’t healthy for either person.
It is absolutely essential to guard your focus with toxic people. Otherwise you will go around in circles until you are dizzy and sick to your stomach. Your communications with them must be objectives-based. That means you don’t engage at their level. You keep your eye on a worthy objective, like a bulldog with a bone.
Perhaps one of the greatest mistakes we make (and one of the ways we take our eyes off the objective) with toxic people is trying to understand them and figure out why they do what they do. Like amateur psychologists, we attempt to diagnose the dysfunction. Here’s a public service announcement for you: “It’s not your problem!” Even in trying to understand them we get sucked into their weird dysfunction. That is the plan! Even when they aren’t in the room, they are the center of attention, and this pleases them very much.
I was amazed as I watched a team of people in a large organization working through a tough technical problem. For the most part, this was a dedicated group of people who were onboard and focused on finding a solution together—except for one.
This team member turned every topic into a debate and took the opposite position on every point. At first I was embarrassed for her; then I realized she was having a marvelous time! This is how she gets her attention. She was performing on a stage of her own making. Every eye in the room was on her. (Most of them were rolling, but still they were on her.) Everyone was trying to help her understand, working to get her agreement, and addressing her issues. Incidentally, this wasn’t because they cared about her feelings or found real merit in her objections; they just wanted to move on!
After the meeting she proudly told me, “I like to play the devil’s advocate. It keeps the group on their toes.” With that she turned and marched off to dismantle another project. In her wake, she left a group of frustrated people who had just allowed an hour of time to be wasted. They spent the next ten minutes discussing her, so the clock didn’t actually stop when she left the room. (I think she would have been pleased about that as well.)
Bev dreads the holidays because it means interacting with what she refers to as “the most dysfunctional family on the planet.” At these gatherings, toxic behavior abounds. There is plenty of criticism, comparison, and condescension to go around. As Bev puts it, “Before I hang up my coat, I am feeling defensive. These events are real self-esteem busters. My family can knock the confidence out of anyone, but it’s usually me. I am always reminded of my perfect sister who has married the perfect man and created three perfect children.”
Both of these scenarios are frustrating and realistic examples of toxic behavior. What may be missing in these situations are ground rules. The players haven’t established rules to protect the relationships or the results. Unacceptable behaviors aren’t confronted, so frustration grows along with the dysfunction.
Have Your Scripts Ready
The first time toxic behavior takes me off guard and I don’t know how to respond, that’s probably fair. If it spins me around a second time, I own that. This is when a good script comes in handy, and you’ll want to prepare in advance, because toxic people will be back. Here are three scripts most of us can use at some point in our lives to confront toxic behavior:
Do you have anyone in your life who has perfected what I call the drive-by jab? This person doesn’t really tell you what’s on her mind; she carefully wraps the dig in sarcasm or an ever-so-innocent comment. The next time she drives by with one of her innuendos, look her directly in the eye, smile warmly, and say, “I think I hear some feedback in there somewhere. Is there something you’re trying to tell me?” (She will immediately fold and declare her innocence. Of course she didn’t mean anything by it! She was just joking. But I guarantee that she’ll think twice before driving by again.)
What about the co-worker who brings you the latest gossip about another colleague? You are not comfortable with this information, but you don’t know what to say. Try this: “I would feel horrible if someone said that about me.” (Expect a stunned silence here. And if your co-worker has any sense, it will be a stunned and embarrassed silence! She probably won’t be bringing you her news bulletins in the future.)
Then there are people who infect everyone with their negativity. The next time they are whining and complaining, ask a solution-oriented question like: “What can you do to make this better?” or “What pieces of this problem do you control?” (Again there will be silence, because you are asking for solutions, and they don’t have any of those handy.)
In each of these scenarios, you are essentially teaching people how to treat you. You are setting boundaries and laying ground rules. Firmly and gracefully you are sending a message: “Knock it off! Don’t go there with me.” The key is preparation. If you are dealing with a toxic person, write your script in advance.
This is a little like shock therapy for toxic people, so you’ll have to be patient in the process. You may have to repeat the lesson more than once, so stand your ground. Eventually they will get it. They will either snap out of the toxic pattern or move along to someone who doesn’t have a good script. (You win either way.)
There may come a time in your life when you must decide to completely disengage from a toxic person—to end a relationship. It’s helpful to remember you aren’t moving them. You are moving you. You are making a healthy choice for your life.
Sometimes nothing needs to be said in situations like this. You go your way, and that takes care of it. If only it were always that easy! In the case of long-term relationships or even family members, it probably won’t be as simple as just moving on.
Remember Bev with the perfect sister? The family gatherings became so unhealthy for her that she could no longer accept the behavior by participating. For two years she successfully avoided family events with a thousand lame excuses. This may have excused her from the table, but it did nothing to solve the problem. Eventually she did muster up the courage to tell her mother the truth. “It was agonizing, but when I finally said it . . . when I actually told her how I felt, it was such a relief! A huge weight lifted, and I felt stronger,” Bev recalls. “I used a script, and it gave me confidence to confront the behaviors that were alienating me from my family.”
Bev used a format that first described what was happening and what she felt. She then asked for a change in behavior. She asked to be treated differently in the future. Her script ended by stating a desire to participate in family gatherings if the interaction became healthier. When you put those pieces together, it sounded like this:
When we are together as a family, I am constantly being compared to my sister and falling short of the mark. This hurts, and it is damaging my relationship with her and with you. I need the comparisons and the competition to stop. I love this family, and I want to participate in our gatherings. I can only do that if we can learn how to respect and encourage each other. If that’s not possible, I must decline future invitations.
Notice the “I” messages in this script. Bev took complete responsibility for what she felt and what she was asking for. She did not assign blame by saying, “You compare me, you hurt me, or you need to stop treating me this way.” She also asked for what she wanted; she asked for a change in behavior. That is the key that will unlock a new pattern of interaction.
It was a little awkward at first. Bev admits, “We had some well-established patterns of communication. We had to break out of those.” Over time this situation has greatly improved, and Bev looks forward to seeing her family, especially her mother. It’s ironic that for years Bev had avoided having this conversation. Ultimately the avoidance was destroying the most important relationships in her life.
Bev has this to say about the energy she added to the dysfunction: “For days before family events I imagined how horrible it was going to be, and for days after I seethed with anger about how horrible it was. I would leave my parent’s home huffing and puffing and promising never to return. Not dealing with it was making me toxic!”
With all of this in mind, sometimes the toxic behavior is not our problem. When asked how to handle a toxic person, my first questions are always: “What is the impact on you or your results? How does this behavior get in your way?”
If the answer is, “It doesn’t,” then my advice is walk away. We certainly don’t need to go looking for toxic people, and we don’t get to appoint ourselves the behavior police! We lose credibility and waste a great deal of energy when we involve ourselves in situations that do not concern us.
Below is a wonderful article by Dondi Scumaci. She explores the different kinds of toxic relationships we often find ourselves in and she appropriately gives easy descriptions so the reader can recognize the apparent danger. Enjoy!
Toxic Alliances: Relationships that Hinder Your Growth
Dondi Scumaci
Author of Ready, Set... Grow!
In terms of pure definition, an alliance is an agreement, partnership, or connection. Stand those words next to toxic, and you have a dangerous alliance, a poisonous connection, or a deadly agreement. That understanding alone should be motivation enough to pull toxic influences from your life!
What this really means is that sometimes we must pull people from our lives. I do not say that flippantly. It can be difficult and painful to end a relationship. What is even worse is allowing a relationship—even a long-term one—to derail you, incapacitate you, or steal your credibility and your joy.
While we may not purposefully align or partner with toxic people, we do that when we passively accept or participate in their behavior. When we don’t remove ourselves from the situation or confront the behavior, we endorse it by default. (This can be one of those “it’s not what you say or do; it’s what you don’t say or do” scenarios.)
When you get right down to it, there are basically two groups of people in the world. In the first group are people who encourage and believe in you. They add something to you. When you leave their presence you feel better. You are more confident, more prepared, and equipped. These people export hope!
The second group I call vampire people, because they suck the life out of everything and everyone they touch! You can almost hear the giant vacuum fire up when they walk into a room. These people are absolutely miserable, they love company, and they are constantly recruiting members. (By the way, membership is not free. It will cost you more than you can imagine.)
In the workplace, toxic alliances are co-workers who constantly draw others into negative conversations. They are the ones who want to argue incessantly and debate trivial points. (They swat at gnats while elephants stomp all over them.) These people draw energy (and attention) from gossip, criticism, arguing, and whining. They terrorize meetings, projects, and teams. They aren’t just connected to the rumor mill—they manage it!
You know the type; they are famous for throwing rocks to get everyone stirred up, innocently hiding their hands and standing back to watch the show. (At this point, faces and names may be flashing before your eyes!)
In our personal and professional lives, toxic people are colleagues, friends, and family members who criticize, attack, and divide. They are often masters of the dig. They don’t really come right out and say things; they insinuate them and leave you wondering, “What did that mean?” They use sarcasm like a precision tool to push your buttons and enjoy holding up your weaknesses for the world to see. They twist the truth with amazing skill until it is unrecognizable. Quite often, toxic behavior crosses the line of integrity and becomes unethical behavior.
We don’t pick our family, right? That is probably true for co-workers and colleagues as well. We don’t always get to choose whom we work with or for. We do control how we interact with the people in our personal and professional lives. We control our boundaries and our scripts. We control access to our hot buttons!
Ask yourself these questions to see if you have a toxic relationship poisoning the soil of your heart:
• Is there anyone planting negative, critical beliefs into your life right now? When you are with this person, how do you feel?
• Is there a relationship in your life that is pulling you backward, blocking your growth, and undermining your progress? What is that costing you?
• Is there a relationship marked by broken trust, unresolved conflict, and destructive communication? How much of your strength are you giving to this?
• Is there someone in your life who compromises your boundaries or ethics? What impact is that having?
• Are there behaviors you are passively endorsing to avoid conflict? What do you risk with your silence?
Questions like these allow you to step back and assess the situation. At the same time, you will want to consider your role. How are you enabling or perpetuating the toxic pattern? And if you really want to do some soul searching, ask yourself this tough question: What is the payoff? What do you gain from this toxic relationship? (Or what will you give up if the situation improves?) You may be surprised by your answers here.
Sometimes we hold on to a toxic situation because we get something from it. For example, we get to feel superior, or we get our grievances validated. If you find a payoff in your toxic situation, you must be willing to give that up before you can move forward in an authentic way.
Loyalty also connects us to toxic people. We don’t want to abandon or hurt them, so we stay. We continue to give them our strength, but they don’t get stronger—we get weaker. The relationship is very one-sided—one person gives and another takes. This is also called codependency. It isn’t healthy for either person.
It is absolutely essential to guard your focus with toxic people. Otherwise you will go around in circles until you are dizzy and sick to your stomach. Your communications with them must be objectives-based. That means you don’t engage at their level. You keep your eye on a worthy objective, like a bulldog with a bone.
Perhaps one of the greatest mistakes we make (and one of the ways we take our eyes off the objective) with toxic people is trying to understand them and figure out why they do what they do. Like amateur psychologists, we attempt to diagnose the dysfunction. Here’s a public service announcement for you: “It’s not your problem!” Even in trying to understand them we get sucked into their weird dysfunction. That is the plan! Even when they aren’t in the room, they are the center of attention, and this pleases them very much.
I was amazed as I watched a team of people in a large organization working through a tough technical problem. For the most part, this was a dedicated group of people who were onboard and focused on finding a solution together—except for one.
This team member turned every topic into a debate and took the opposite position on every point. At first I was embarrassed for her; then I realized she was having a marvelous time! This is how she gets her attention. She was performing on a stage of her own making. Every eye in the room was on her. (Most of them were rolling, but still they were on her.) Everyone was trying to help her understand, working to get her agreement, and addressing her issues. Incidentally, this wasn’t because they cared about her feelings or found real merit in her objections; they just wanted to move on!
After the meeting she proudly told me, “I like to play the devil’s advocate. It keeps the group on their toes.” With that she turned and marched off to dismantle another project. In her wake, she left a group of frustrated people who had just allowed an hour of time to be wasted. They spent the next ten minutes discussing her, so the clock didn’t actually stop when she left the room. (I think she would have been pleased about that as well.)
Bev dreads the holidays because it means interacting with what she refers to as “the most dysfunctional family on the planet.” At these gatherings, toxic behavior abounds. There is plenty of criticism, comparison, and condescension to go around. As Bev puts it, “Before I hang up my coat, I am feeling defensive. These events are real self-esteem busters. My family can knock the confidence out of anyone, but it’s usually me. I am always reminded of my perfect sister who has married the perfect man and created three perfect children.”
Both of these scenarios are frustrating and realistic examples of toxic behavior. What may be missing in these situations are ground rules. The players haven’t established rules to protect the relationships or the results. Unacceptable behaviors aren’t confronted, so frustration grows along with the dysfunction.
Have Your Scripts Ready
The first time toxic behavior takes me off guard and I don’t know how to respond, that’s probably fair. If it spins me around a second time, I own that. This is when a good script comes in handy, and you’ll want to prepare in advance, because toxic people will be back. Here are three scripts most of us can use at some point in our lives to confront toxic behavior:
Do you have anyone in your life who has perfected what I call the drive-by jab? This person doesn’t really tell you what’s on her mind; she carefully wraps the dig in sarcasm or an ever-so-innocent comment. The next time she drives by with one of her innuendos, look her directly in the eye, smile warmly, and say, “I think I hear some feedback in there somewhere. Is there something you’re trying to tell me?” (She will immediately fold and declare her innocence. Of course she didn’t mean anything by it! She was just joking. But I guarantee that she’ll think twice before driving by again.)
What about the co-worker who brings you the latest gossip about another colleague? You are not comfortable with this information, but you don’t know what to say. Try this: “I would feel horrible if someone said that about me.” (Expect a stunned silence here. And if your co-worker has any sense, it will be a stunned and embarrassed silence! She probably won’t be bringing you her news bulletins in the future.)
Then there are people who infect everyone with their negativity. The next time they are whining and complaining, ask a solution-oriented question like: “What can you do to make this better?” or “What pieces of this problem do you control?” (Again there will be silence, because you are asking for solutions, and they don’t have any of those handy.)
In each of these scenarios, you are essentially teaching people how to treat you. You are setting boundaries and laying ground rules. Firmly and gracefully you are sending a message: “Knock it off! Don’t go there with me.” The key is preparation. If you are dealing with a toxic person, write your script in advance.
This is a little like shock therapy for toxic people, so you’ll have to be patient in the process. You may have to repeat the lesson more than once, so stand your ground. Eventually they will get it. They will either snap out of the toxic pattern or move along to someone who doesn’t have a good script. (You win either way.)
There may come a time in your life when you must decide to completely disengage from a toxic person—to end a relationship. It’s helpful to remember you aren’t moving them. You are moving you. You are making a healthy choice for your life.
Sometimes nothing needs to be said in situations like this. You go your way, and that takes care of it. If only it were always that easy! In the case of long-term relationships or even family members, it probably won’t be as simple as just moving on.
Remember Bev with the perfect sister? The family gatherings became so unhealthy for her that she could no longer accept the behavior by participating. For two years she successfully avoided family events with a thousand lame excuses. This may have excused her from the table, but it did nothing to solve the problem. Eventually she did muster up the courage to tell her mother the truth. “It was agonizing, but when I finally said it . . . when I actually told her how I felt, it was such a relief! A huge weight lifted, and I felt stronger,” Bev recalls. “I used a script, and it gave me confidence to confront the behaviors that were alienating me from my family.”
Bev used a format that first described what was happening and what she felt. She then asked for a change in behavior. She asked to be treated differently in the future. Her script ended by stating a desire to participate in family gatherings if the interaction became healthier. When you put those pieces together, it sounded like this:
When we are together as a family, I am constantly being compared to my sister and falling short of the mark. This hurts, and it is damaging my relationship with her and with you. I need the comparisons and the competition to stop. I love this family, and I want to participate in our gatherings. I can only do that if we can learn how to respect and encourage each other. If that’s not possible, I must decline future invitations.
Notice the “I” messages in this script. Bev took complete responsibility for what she felt and what she was asking for. She did not assign blame by saying, “You compare me, you hurt me, or you need to stop treating me this way.” She also asked for what she wanted; she asked for a change in behavior. That is the key that will unlock a new pattern of interaction.
It was a little awkward at first. Bev admits, “We had some well-established patterns of communication. We had to break out of those.” Over time this situation has greatly improved, and Bev looks forward to seeing her family, especially her mother. It’s ironic that for years Bev had avoided having this conversation. Ultimately the avoidance was destroying the most important relationships in her life.
Bev has this to say about the energy she added to the dysfunction: “For days before family events I imagined how horrible it was going to be, and for days after I seethed with anger about how horrible it was. I would leave my parent’s home huffing and puffing and promising never to return. Not dealing with it was making me toxic!”
With all of this in mind, sometimes the toxic behavior is not our problem. When asked how to handle a toxic person, my first questions are always: “What is the impact on you or your results? How does this behavior get in your way?”
If the answer is, “It doesn’t,” then my advice is walk away. We certainly don’t need to go looking for toxic people, and we don’t get to appoint ourselves the behavior police! We lose credibility and waste a great deal of energy when we involve ourselves in situations that do not concern us.
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