How Did the Early Church Recognize the Canonicity of a Book?

 Note:  Here is a brief but good summary of how books in the bible were chosen. They were not randomly chosen because of political clout, but through a thought out and careful chosen plan. Remember, all the books in the bible have this in common: "Inspiration." This was and is the only true test of whether or not a book was placed in the bible. Inspiration was all on God's part. But choosing a book required recognizing a book's inspiration and this is on man's part. The short article below address man's part. Enjoy!

How Did the Early Church Recognize the Canonicity of a Book?

Author: Bill Pratt

There is a misconception, popularized by books like The Da Vinci Code, that the way the books of the Bible were chosen consisted of politically infused church councils voting on the books they liked, and voting out the books they didn’t like.

However, a careful reading of church history totally disproves this misconception.

As noted in a previous post, the church understood its role as recognizing what books God, himself, had inspired.  This job of recognition was something the early church took very seriously, but how did they go about doing it?  What were the criteria they used?

We know that propheticity was a necessary condition for canonicity, but sometimes church fathers who were trying to assess propheticity of a book were removed by decades, or even centuries, from the original composition of the books.  So what did they do?

Norman Geisler and William Nix, in their book A General Introduction to the Bible, describe the criteria that were actually employed by the early church in this process.

Was the book written by a prophet of God?  This was the most fundamental criteria.  Once this was established, the book’s inspiration was recognized.

Was the writer confirmed by acts of God?  If there were doubts about the author’s being a true prophet of God, miracles served as divine confirmation.

Did the message tell the truth about God?  According to Geisler and Nix, “Any teaching about God contrary to what His people already knew to be true was to be rejected. Furthermore, any predictions made about the world which failed to come true indicated that a prophet’s words should be rejected.”

Does it come with the power of God?  Geisler and Nix explain, “Another test for canonicity was the edifying effect of a book.

Does it have the power of God? The Fathers believed the Word of God is “living and active” (Heb. 4:12), and consequently ought to have a transforming force for edification (2 Tim. 3:17) and evangelization (1 Peter 1:23).”

Was it accepted by the people of God? Geisler and Nix point out that ”the initial acceptance of a book by the people to whom it was addressed is crucial. Paul said of the Thessalonians, “We also constantly thank God that when you received from us the word of God’s message, you accepted it not as the word of men, but for what it really is, the word of God” (1 Thess. 2:13). For whatever subsequent debate there may have been about a book’s place in the canon, the people in the best position to know its prophetic credentials were those who knew the prophet who wrote it. Hence, despite all later debate about the canonicity of some books, the definitive evidence is that which attests to its original acceptance by the contemporary believers.”

Geisler and Nix summarize:

The most important distinction to be made at this point is between the determination and the discovery of canonicity. God is solely responsible for the first, and man is responsible merely for the last. That a book is canonical is due to divine inspiration. How that is known to be true is the process of human recognition. How men discovered what God had determined was by looking for the “earmarks of inspiration.”

It was asked whether the book (1) was written by a man of God, (2) who was confirmed by an act of God, (3) told the truth about God, man, and so on, (4) came with the power of God, and (5) was accepted by the people of God. If a book clearly had the first earmark, the remainder were often assumed. Of course the contemporaries of the prophet (apostle) knew his credentials and accepted his book immediately. But later church Fathers sorted out the profusion of religious literature, discovered, and gave official recognition to the books that, by virtue of their divine inspiration, had been determined by God as canonical and originally recognized by the contemporary believing community to which they were presented.

10 Financial Principles That are Biblical

By George Fooshee

 

Some people mash cans, crunch bottles or shred newspapers and magazines to further the cause of modern ecology. As owner and manager of a collection agency for 17 years, I believe in preserving the nation's natural and human resources too-particularly from a personal finance perspective. 

 

There are ten financial principles found in God's Word to counsel and to help "recycle" many people, especially Christians, who have been all but mashed, crunched or shredded by the miseries of indebtedness and poor money management.

To put it plainly, I've seen firsthand the full spectrum of financial woes that can hopelessly trap people in a society victimized by the credit-card, "buy-now-pay-later" syndrome.

As a bill collector, my business is to try to collect accounts that creditors have been unsuccessful in collecting. Daily, I see people in deep financial trouble. Thousands in this country have got themselves into financial messes that can lead to more serious consequences.

For years all of my personal financial counseling ended in failure. Then I discovered God's mighty Word and His ten financial principles. Financial counseling became a matter of revealing these principles and allowing financially troubled persons to choose whether to obey them or not. These principles reveal God's instructions to His children for conducting their financial affairs.

I believe that one of the major themes of the Bible is obedience to the Lord. These financial principles are real, and obedience to them demonstrates that Christians are trusting God in another area of their lives.

God is Source

The first principle is that God is the source of everything. Philippians 4:19 says, "My God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Proverbs 8:20,21 adds, "I lead in the way of righteousness, in the midst of the paths of judgment: that I may cause those that love me to inherit substance; and I will fill their treasures."

And 2 Corinthians 9:8 says: "And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work." Whenever we need money or possessions, prayer is the answer. Look to the Lord, because He will provide it-according to His will.

Giving Essential

The second principle is that of giving. Luke 6:38, a key verse, says, "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give unto your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again." According to Deuteronomy 14: 23, one purpose of tithing was to teach the people of Israel to put God first in their lives.
I find there are a couple of ways I can put God first daily. One is to have a quiet time. If I am unwilling to meet the Lord each morning when I get up, that means I'm putting somebody else or something else before the Lord.

For example, how many people have thought seriously about not taking the daily newspaper? The man who is unwilling to cancel a newspaper subscription, which is keeping him from reading the Word of God, may often be the same man who is having trouble making the payments on the TV set that is keeping him from doing the things that would help him grow closer to the Lord. So it can be a vicious cycle. And with TV commercials by the dozens exhorting him to buy, spend, charge and go, is it any wonder that thousands of people are so molded by the world?

Having a quiet time is one way a person can put God first. I believe another is to commit a tenth of his income-right off the top-to the Lord's work. Proverbs 3:9,10 reads: "Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase: so shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst with new wine."

Live On Margin

The third principle is that of living on a margin. Everyone ought to live on a margin-a physical margin, a spiritual margin, a time margin and a financial margin. Living on a margin simply means allowing room for things to happen.

There are really only three ways a person can arrive anyplace. He can arrive early, on time or late. I used to aim at arriving right on time, and I consistently arrived five minutes late. That's because I allowed no margin.
Those precious minutes add up. Think of the cumulative effort, on health alone, of continually spending 15 minutes hurrying to be five minutes late. I swim three times a week at the YMCA to stay in shape, and I try to eat right and keep my weight down, since I want to serve the Lord and therefore don't want to die of a heart attack. But 15 minutes of hurrying three times each day for 15 years adds up to nearly six months of 24-hour days when I'm under unnecessary tension, just hurrying to be late. And tension is a leading cause of heart attacks. How ridiculous! But the Lord led me to operate on a time margin-planning to arrive early rather than hurrying to be late.

Bible Backs Saving

The fourth financial principle concerns saving money-setting something aside for a rainy day. Proverbs 21:20 says, "There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up." And Proverbs 22: 3 emphasizes, "A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished."

For a simple example, if a couple with an income of $12,000 a year would save $1000 of it each of those years and let this money earn 6 percent interest, compounded annually, they would have $24,672.56 at the end of a 15-year period.

If at the end of 15 years of saving faithfully, a son or daughter is ready for college or the family needs to move into a bigger house or wants to serve the Lord on a full-time basis, the couple can start to withdraw their savings. They can withdraw $2000 a year for 10 years and still have $15,322.17, or slightly more than they set aside. Isn't this making your money work for you? God has a reason for the principle of saving money.

Keep Out of Debt

The fifth principle is to keep out of unnecessary debt and thus avoid the debt trap. Borrowing for a house or car is one thing but taking on financial obligations one can't keep-buying beyond the ability to pay-is another. Psalm 37:21 says "the wicked borroweth, and payeth not again." The minute a person goes into debt, he loses a portion of his freedom. As Proverbs 22:7 says, "The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender."

Suppose this same young couple with the $12,000 annual income had decided that instead of saving $1000 a year, they would go into debt for $1000 to buy some furniture. And suppose they continue to increase their indebtedness by $1000 during each of the 15 years, without paying back one cent. With 10 percent interest, compounded annually, on the increase in debt, the couple's debt would have been an astronomical $34,949.74. The debt on $1000 alone for that same period, without any repayment, would have been $4177.21.

Too many people think you can buy now and pay later. That isn't true. I've found that easy credit now makes people uneasy later. Usually a person pays more for the use of borrowed money than he gets in interest for saving it.

Secret of Contentment

The sixth principle is being content with what one has. Hebrews 13:5 puts it succinctly: "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

One area where people often first become discontent involves the old automobile. Too many persons trade or sell their cars before they are used up. There's a big difference between fixing up the old junk heap to drive three more years and buying a new car. Many salesmen make the slick remark, "You just make that easy monthly payment." There is seldom anything easy about that monthly payment. It seems to get harder to make all the time. Second Corinthians 6:10 is so beautiful to apply here. It reads: "As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things."

My friends in the automobile business tell me that most cars are good for more miles than most people put on them. Just because a car has over 100,000 miles doesn't mean a person has to get rid of it. Look at some of the buses, trucks and cars still going strong, especially in countries outside North America. They are cars of the same age and mileage that other people junked years ago
.
A worthwhile saying to remember on contentment is this: "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, do without."

Keep Records, Budget

The seventh principle is that of keeping records and making a budget. God's Word says, "Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding" (Prov. 23:23). "Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: and by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches" (24:3,4).

If someone were to tell me that he's going to run his business without keeping any records, I would say this is downright stupid. And it is even worse for one who really wants to be a good steward of the Lord's money.
I started my children on a three-category budget when they started school. Every week I distributed the allowance-$1.50-.50 cents each for depositing in separate calling card boxes designated "save," "church," "spend." The kids had a visual control system. If there was no money in there, they had no money to spend. Making a budget won't be that simple, but the idea is the same.

A man I know to whom I have given financial counsel thought he was doing great because he had to borrow only $300 in the last eight months. When I asked him how he managed to get along so well, he admitted he had sold his week of vacation for $500 and had some overtime pay.

I figured that the fellow was actually spending $175 per month more than he was making during the eight-month period, despite the one-time windfall of getting rid of his vacation and working overtime. A year from now, at his present rate of overspending, he would owe $2100 more, with interest adding to his debt totaling more than $30 each month.

By keeping good records, having a plan and being honest with oneself, a person won't get into financial trouble. I seldom see financially successful people who don't keep good records.
It's the same with my own business cars. I cut all my salesmen back 15 percent and made a little budget. The salesmen follow a monthly plan and know what the limit is. They are staying within the budget without a reduction in sales. It's just a matter of being more efficient with what one has.

Don't Cosign

The eighth principle is, don't cosign. God says in Proverbs 27:13 to exercise extreme caution in cosigning. The advice infers that the world's poorest credit risk is the man who agrees to pay a stranger's debt. When a person cosigns a note, he is the one who is really borrowing the money. The reason a person needs a cosigner is because the lender is unwilling to lend that money to the person requesting the loan.

Work Hard

The ninth principle is that of hard work. The Scriptures spell it out: "In all labour there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury [ poverty]" (Prov. 14:23). "He that tilleth his land shall have plenty of bread: but he that followeth after vain persons shall have poverty enough" (28:19).

It is important to work. "In the beginning God created" (Gen. 1:1). Even God is at work. This is a principle throughout the Bible. Many times I find that people in financial trouble aren't really working hard. I have often discovered in counseling young men in real financial trouble that they are "tooling" around too much of the time and putting 2000 miles a month on the car. I advise them to take a second job. This increases their income and decreases their expenses and it keeps them from misusing or frittering away their time.

Seek Godly Counsel

The last principle is that of seeking godly counsel. Psalm 1:1 declares, "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly." A person needing financial advice should not go to someone who makes his living selling the very thing he's contemplating buying. "Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established" (Prov. 15:22).

Before buying a house, purchasing a car or just borrowing money, pray about it and seek the counsel of godly people. They can keep you from making a lot of mistakes. The reason so many persons don't seek counsel is that they don't want to be told by someone an intended action is unsound-they just like to do what they want anyway.

Above all, don't sign anything until you check the deal thoroughly first. Don't be hurried into any deal. The worst deal in the world is often the one in which a person is rushed into signing-capitulating to a relentless salesman's chance-of-a-lifetime-offer pressure tactics. The best offer in the world can wait.

These are the ten biblical financial principles: God is the source; give first; live on a margin; save money; keep out of debt; be content with what you have; keep records; don't cosign; work hard and seek godly counsel.
As one learns to follow these eternal principles in his personal finances, he will know the joy that comes from trusting and obeying God. 10 Financial Principles That are Biblical

Traits of an Abusive Relationship

“My boyfriend is jealous. He gets furious when I won’t dump my friends and spend all of my free time with him,” one woman complained.  “But I know he loves me because he tells me so all the time. However, I am also wondering if I am in an abusive relationship. Because, I keep telling myself things will get better, but it hasn’t. My best friend was put in the hospital with a broken arm and nose by her boyfriend and I wonder if that can also happen to me?”

As a pastor serving out on the West Oahu side of the island, I have talked to both men and women (women mostly) who are in an abusive relationship and don’t know how it all got started.  Some have told me that they had attended other churches and have told their pastor only to be ignored and disbelieved. Now and then I hear women crying out for help where I live because of they are afraid of getting hurt by an angry or jealous boyfriend of husband. The cries echo in the night and at times I found myself reaching for my phone to call 911.

If you are in a relationship and you’ve been noticing signs of abusive, perhaps you should not ignore such things. Here are some common traits that could possibly suggest that you are in an potentially abusive relationship.

Trait #1: CHARMING!

It is not uncommon for this person to quickly smother with gifts and praise. He/she immediately pushes for an exclusive relationship using phrases such as “I can’t live without you” or “I’ll kill myself if you leave.” This is clearly an indication that something is wrong.  Never get too involve with someone who makes you their god. You do not want that kind of responsibility. If such a person cannot live without you, then the next step would not to allow you to live at all so no one else can have you.

Trait #2:  JEALOUS. 

He/she views others as a threat to the relationship and relentlessly accuses you of flirting. “I know you are having an affair.” The irony is that the abuser is usually the cheater.  Because of this insecurity, you have to always walk on egg shells and watch not only who you talk to in person and over the phone, but how you talk to the person. If you smile or laugh or seem to be enjoying the conversation, then to your overly jealous boyfriend / girlfriend, it is a sign that you are being flirtatious and having an affair. Because of the deep rooted insecurity, you always have to give an account of where you are during the day and who you were with. If you say, “I am going to Long’s,” and you take a detour and also go to Safeway, you will be drilled as to why it took you so long to get back.  “You went by to see him didn’t you?” “How come you got that nervous look on your face?” “It does not take 20 minutes to go to Long’s.” etc. You cannot live with a jealous person nor can you ever please them enough so that he or she will be satisfied enough to trust you. In the beginning of your relationship, you may think that some of the jealousy is cute, but it will escalate and turn your friend into an abuser. And when that happens, the jealousy that you considered cute in the beginning, will being you much pain both emotionally and physically.  But most of all, the real irony is when you discover that what you have been accused of doing, is exactly what your boyfriend or girlfriend has been doing – cheating!  When you confront the person, it will lead to the third trait which we’ll take a look at next time.

Trait #3: MANIPULATIVE.

Abuse and manipulation go hand-in-hand. This person easily detects vulnerability in others and uses it as a weapon to control, belittle and demean the victim. “You are weak and ugly; no wonder you were abused as a kid.” Such words cut deep and they do not go away over night. At this point it is good to remind ourselves that verbal abuse is just that – “abuse.” It too can hurt and leave lasting scars. Choosing what we say to others is a daily challenge we must take upon ourselves. How often do you hear of people who have done some really bad things give this excuse, “I kept hearing voices in my head telling me to do that?”   My point: Words are powerful tools to either encourage others to press on or manipulate in the wrong way.  When an abuser does something wrong like have an affair and is discovered, he will tend to say, “Well, you drove me to it. All your flirtatious acts and the way you behave around others in order to get me jealous, how do you like it when I do that to you? But baby, you need to know that it is you that I truly love.  The other woman didn’t mean anything to me.”

While in a relationship, if you are constantly put down and told that something is wrong with you, it may indicate you are in an abusive relationship. Only you can put a stop to it. You must stand up for yourself and say, “Enough! You will not talk to me like that again, if you want to see my face another day. A great passage from the Bible to keep close by you is the following: “But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water” (James 3:8-12).  The point James is making is this:  It is a contradiction for a Christian who has had a heart change to also be known as abusive with his or her tongue.

Trait #4: CONTROLLING.

Constant checking on the whereabouts of the victim is a common trait for the abuser. “I check the mileage on your car. So don’t lie to me.” A male controller often refuses to let his girlfriend have a job, she might “meet someone.”  So controlling is the abuser that he or has to know the whereabouts of the person at all times. If there is any sign or hint that would give the abuser reason to be suspicious, the abuser will tighten his or her grip over the person and the relationship.

One thing you begin to notice if you are paying attention to what is going on around you is this: Your friends begin to fall away, while members of your family remark on how you don’t seem like yourself anymore. They ask, “Are you okay?  Is something wrong?” Of course, you don’t dare tell them anything, because you are certain they can’t help you anyway.  And if you do say something, your abuser puts on his or her good side so that your family says to you, “Are you sure?  Maybe its you that has issues?”

You see, your abuser will seldom use physical force in the beginning to control you. Instead, he or she will use mental and psychological manipulation. Fear and guilt become the two most common tools that an abuser will use. Once these are perceived as no longer working, then physical abuse comes into the picture. At this point, you are in serious danger. Even if you do break up, the probability of being stocked, either with phone calls, nasty notes, or by personal surprises of showing up at work, in stores, or even at your door will be enough to move you into serious danger. At this point, getting out on your own will not be an easy option. You will need outside help and a well conceived plan that takes into consideration various options. But who do you trust? Who do you spill your heart to?

Trait #5: A VICTIM. 

An abuser doesn’t take any responsibility for his/ her poor choices. They are never at fault. When she loses her job, or he gets into a fight, someone else is to blame. “You make me hit you” or “I drink because you stress me out.” 

This is one of the reasons why the abuser will get people to side with him. Some really do think that he is the victim and that it really could be your fault. You are the one blinded to this. Everyone seems to see it, why not you? Sadly, you do begin to fall into this mindset and think that perhaps, “I am responsible.”  “Perhaps, if I was a better wife.” “If only I give him more attention.”  Once the abuser has you believing that he or she is the victim and you are the cause of his tempter and the way he behaves, then you will begin to doubt yourself and here is the sad part -- You will then think irresponsibly, such as: “I deserve to be hit. I deserve to be yelled at. I really am a bad person.”

At this point, you have changed a great deal in your thinking. You begin to fall for the abuser’s lies. You are not getting much support from others on the outside and so you interpret that as proof that it is your fault. You will begin to make unreasonable sacrifices. Your health will go down and you will carry a heavy mental strain. Here’s the bottom line: Your abuser will begin to see you as pathetic, helpless and weak.  He will resent you. Your weakness feeds his need for power and control. Now you will only be someone who he can use for his twisted purposes.  At this point, he no longer loves you. He despises you and it is your fault for turning him into this kind of a person.    

Trait #6: NARCISSISTIC. 

The whole world revolves around the abuser and his/her needs. This person is invigorated by the fact that the victims “walks on eggshells” and live in fear of the next outburst.  The abuser will appear sweet and innocent to others.  Most will not understand what the fuss is about and why you come up with such crazy ideas about being abused. But that’s precisely his modus operandi to keep you in fear and walking on eggshells. Since you cannot obtain support from others, your only option you tell yourself is to please your abuser and make him the center of your world.

Remember, at this point his pride has a huge appetite. It will need to be fed and stroked with huge helpings of submission and surrender from you. Your life as you once had known it is no longer your life. Your words, your expressions, your every act will be scrutinized for signs of rebellion perceived by the abuser. If you are caught trying to seek help, through a note, a phone call, a visit, he will tighten his hold on you even more.  Because of his extreme narcissism, if he feels you are slipping away, he would rather kill you then live without you. But that’s how his distorted thinking has become. To kill you is to live without you, but logic and reasoning makes little sense to the abuser.   To kill or harm you physically only supports his appetite for control and boosters his pride that leads him to believe that life is all about him.  

Trait #7:  INCONSISTENT.

Mood swings are a common trait for an abuser. One minute he/she is happy and sweet, the next they are pounding a fist or throwing a tantrum.  This is what makes the abuser hard to spot. The wife says to her pastor, “My husband abuses me.” And the pastor thinks to himself, “You mean the nice man who is our top greeter and who comes to church early on Sunday mornings to set up?”

While trying to picture someone as an abuser especially looking from the outside in, to the one being abused, the mood swings are night and day. One day he is praising her for something she just did or said, then the very next moment he is in her face for forgetting to pick something up at the store.

However, it is important that we don’t forget that in many cases of an abusive relationship, there are two sides to it. For the abuser, there is of course the need to be in control. For the victim there is the need for attention. So because the victim needs attention, she will put up with his mood swings.  

You see, the abuser is an insecure person and so is the victim. The abuser has little sense of self-worth and so also the victim.  In a morbid way, this is a match made for each other.  So because the victim has a fear of not being loved, she will accept the abuser’s inconsistencies. The victim gives her abuser the right to be inconsistent and at the same time feeds off of his love for her. Both needs are being met in a strange way.

I think it is important to remember what the bible says about rescuing someone from his anger. Listen to this: “A man of great anger shall bear the penalty, for if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again” (Prov. 19:19). In other words, as long as the victim makes excuses for his inconsistencies or covers them up, she will not help him to change.

This is why the abuser will often immediately apologize for hitting his wife or girl friend, or for swearing or yelling at her, or for doing something awful.  The abuser has no problem saying, “I’m so sorry! Will you forgive me?” His problem is that, because of his severe mood swings, he will do it again and again. And as long as he is being rescued by the victim, he will keep on with the abuse.  Therefore, enabling the abuser on the victim’s part for the sake of getting attention from him and feeling loved is a horrible relationship to be in. In reality, what started out as a match made in heaven, turns out to be a match from the pit of hell.    

Trait #8:  CRITICAL.

Verbally assaulting others is a way of life for the abuser. “You are a stupid, fat, disgusting tramp. You can’t ever leave me; no other man would have you” or “Ha! You call yourself a man. You are nothing but a mama’s boy.”

Words often go deeper to cause pain and injury than physical blows and they last longer too. 

To avoid your partner’s critical spirit and verbal abuse, do you:

Feel afraid of your partner much of the time?

Avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?

Feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?

Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?

Wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?

Feel emotionally numb or helpless? 

How about this:  Does your partner:

Humiliate or yell at you?

Criticize you and put you down?

Treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?

Ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?

Blame you for their own abusive behavior?

See you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

If any of these are true and more have signs of coming to life, you need deliverance and intervention. At the end of this series, I will offer some practical ways to get help.

Trait #9:  DISCONNECTED.

Isolation from family and friends is a key goal for the abuser because it forces the victim into total submission. “Your family causes too much trouble for us. I don’t want you seeing them anymore.”  This is where the abuser is clever. Your family thinks it is you that chooses to isolate yourself from them, not knowing that it is actually your abuser who made the decision.  

Disconnection occurs progressively. First, you are disconnected physically. After this, comes the emotional and psychological side. However, this can also be reversed especially in homes where often there is another side of abuse – “Self-abuse.” An example of this is where a person in the home is a chronic alcoholic and spends his or her days drinking themselves into physical oblivion. Those in the home – spouse, kids, etc., begin to first pull away emotionally.  In some cases, such things are never discussed or talked about by members of the family. It is embarrassing and the pain of talking about it is avoided at all cost.  This is known as active disconnection, where you end up making the conscious choice of disconnecting from your spouse, or family member because of their self-destructive behavior.

However, passive disconnection occurs when your abuser makes the choice on your behalf.  You had no say so in the matter. The goal is to isolate you further from getting any help or support that would empower you to stand up to the mistreatment you are experiencing. When the lines are cut, you are virtually on your own.

Trait #10:  HYPERSENSITIVE.

The slightest offense sends the abuser ranting. Everyone is out to “get him/her.”  “My boss had it in for me; I bend over backwards on my job but I still got fired.” And when the abuser begins to think like this, he feels you are also out to do him in. So he will question your every move. He will watch you closely and when you are not noticing, he will check your purse, your clothing, your credit card bill, your phone records.  Moreover, if he even gets a hint that you have been talking to others about deliverance and help, to him that is another sign that you are out to get him. He does not realize that he is creating his own bad consequences. He feels misunderstood. He senses no one dares to care. You have hung with him this long when no one else will, so you are his last hope. It does not occur to him to seek after God. It does not occur to him that he is so hypersensitive.  But the slightest bit of perceived offense will turn him from a happy-go-lucky kind of guy to a raving lunatic.  And since you are around him so much, you become the object of his release.

Trait #11:  VICIOUS and CRUEL.

A significant number of abusers harm children and animals as well as a partner. Intimidation and inflicting pain fuels his/her power. “If I can’t have you, no one will” or “I just pretended to love you so that you would sleep with me.”  

When you hear these words for the first time, it is never at the beginning of your relationship. So one can only imagine the surprise you must feel. But at this level, you must be calm as can be expected and wise in your departure. Yes, I said “departure.” Only a fool would remain in this kind of an abusive relationship and you are no fool, unless you believe yourself to be one. The person you are with is cruel, mean and vicious. Your well-being and the well-being of your children (if you have any involved) are depending on you for the next move to be right and well planned.  Whenever you hear the words, “If I cannot have you, no one can,” should be your most earnest wake up call.  If you have been doubting that you are in an abusive relationship this long, you ought to see it as this juncture.  

Trait #12:  INSINCERELY REPENTANT.

He/she will swear to never “behave like that again.” But unless an abuser receives professional help and solid accountability it’s unlikely the abuse will disappear.   Like a bad habit, the abuse will continue because there is a bondage that cannot be broken by just the will of the abuser.

If you are unmarried and in such a relationship, be sure of this: After marriage abusive behaviors typically escalate, therefore it’s crucial to recognize the warning signs now.

It is important that you speak to someone you can trust. Some who will believe you. I want to recommend such a person.  Her name is Norina Barcenas. She is the founder of Wings International Ministry.  She and her capable staff will help you and get you on the road of deliverance and most of all, help you get your life back!

Please don’t believe the lie that it’s not abuse until he/she hits you.  When an abuser loses control they often react with rage and the abuse intensifies. Therefore, make a plan before breaking off the relationship on your own and risk personal injury.

Note:  You might say, “I’ll just talk to my pastor or church leaders.” Yes, that would also be a good place to go to. However, abusers know how to deceive and manipulate the church. He/she often knows exactly what to say and do to get the church “on their side.” This is because they play off the role that the church is to be loving, kind and forgiving and most of all, “neutral” or “no respect of persons.” This makes it difficult at times for the leaders of the church to visibly take your side. They have to take time to gather as much fact as possible, and sometimes snooping around can become a danger to you.

I would talk to someone (counselor) who is independent of the church, and then have that counselor talk to the pastor on your behalf and explain to the pastor what are the proper steps and procedures that would best ensure your safety and the recommended help for the abuser without chasing him or her away.  

You should not live in a toxic or abusive relationship. God can transform your abuser and at the same time rescue you from the abuse. Use wisdom and discernment. Don’t take matters into your own hands. Get the help you deserve!

Was Jesus an Hermaphrodite?

“Jesus was a woman,” are words that, although I don’t agree with, I could still read with open mind. But to read that Jesus was a “hermaphrodite,” is beyond belief!

Dr. Susannah Cornwall, a professor at Manchester University's Lincoln Theological Institute, wrote in a recent paper that the idea that Jesus was male is "simply a best guess."

In her paper, titled "Intersex & Ontology, A Response to The Church, Women Bishops and Provision," she states that it is impossible to know "with any certainty" that Jesus did not have both male and female organs.

On her blog, Cornwall notes that, "About 1 in every 2,500 people is born with an intersex condition which means that their body varies from the typical male or female pattern. It's therefore possible that Jesus – in common with many other people whose sex is never called in question – had a hidden or 'invisible' intersex condition."

She goes on to note in her paper that because of this, "It is not possible to assert with any degree of certainty that Jesus was male as we now define maleness. There is no way of knowing for sure that Jesus did not have one of the intersex conditions."

Cornwall also argues that because Jesus is not known to have had children, this also makes his gender status "even more uncertain."

Okay then, let’s see if there is confusion in the bible about the gender of Jesus. Six hundred years before the birth of Christ, Isaiah (9:6) prophesied these words: “For to us a child is born” (could be male, could be female), “to us a SON is given” (bingo!). 

Now let’s move from centuries before the birth of Christ to the actual birth itself.

In Matthew 1:18, we read, “Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found with child” (could be either a male or female) “by the Holy Spirit.” An angel then appears to Joseph to assure him that even though Mary is pregnant with a child that is not personally his, he should take Mary as his wife because God had miraculously blessed her with this child. The angel then tells Joseph the following (Matt. 1:21): “And she shall bear a SON” (bingo!)

Remember how mad Herod was over the news that Jesus was born? He thought that his throne was in jeopardy because a king had been born to take his place. So Herod went on a killing spree. This is what we read: “When Herod saw that he had been tricked by the magi, he became very enraged and sent and slew all the MALE” (Bingo!) “children who were born in Bethlehem” (Matt. 2:16).  It seemed pretty obvious to Herod what Jesus’ gender was.

At the age of 30 when Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist, God the Father spoke from heaven these words: “This is My beloved SON. . .” (Matt. 3:17). God knew what Jesus was BEFORE His birth (remember Isaiah’s prophecy?) He obviously knows what Jesus was when He was at the age of 30.

But what about the parents of Jesus – Joseph and Mary? Shouldn’t they know? We read in Luke 2:21, “And when the eight days were completed before His CIRCUMCISION. . .”  The parents of Jesus had him circumcised. Certainly that would be a strong clue that Jesus was indeed male.

But what about after Jesus’ death and resurrection?  Maybe there was some confusion on the part of the New Testament writers. Paul, who wrote 13 of the 27 books found in the New Testament, said this: “For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the MAN Christ Jesus” (1 Tim. 2:5).

So now I find myself in a personal dilemma. When I read the bible, I read where God, an angel, Jesus' parents, Herod, and Paul, all affirm that Jesus was born a male. But then there is this scholar who says that since Jesus did not have any kids of his own, that is a strong clue he could have been born a hermaphrodite.

Whew! This is going to be a tough choice to decide. I may have to take a day off from canoe practice in order to ponder this decision. I hope you won’t have to go through the struggling of not knowing Jesus’ true gender, as I am faced with. The evidence on the side of Jesus being a hermaphrodite is so strong and staggering. My faith is being tested! And it is even more compelling because it was written by a university professor.  

Oh, I am also reminded of one more piece of evidence that may (I use the word “may” because of the source) indicate Jesus’ true gender. Over in Mark, Jesus travels to the country of the Gerasenes and He encounters a man who living among the tombs. Within this man were many demons. So when Jesus approached this man, the demon (main spokesperson on behalf of the other demons) within him spoke these words, “What do I have to do with You, Jesus, SON of the Most High God” (Mark 5:7). In this one statement, these demons understood the following:

1.       Jesus actually existed as a person – “What to I have to do with you”

2.       His name – “Jesus”

3.       His gender – “Son”

4.       His origin – “Most High God”

Could it be, that evil, depraved, dirty, sinful, rotten, vile, corrupt, hell-bound demons know more about Jesus' gender than Dr. Susannah Cornwall, a university professor?

But I did in the beginning use the word “may” as proof of Jesus’ gender. Because after all, we all know that demons lie!   J

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Relationships are important to God and ought to be important to us also. This is why it is vital to evaluate those relationships in which you were hurt and may be carrying around some resentment from past and present relationships.  In some relationships we have to learn how to forgive the individual so that we can move forward in our healing and built even better and stronger ones. 

Remember the Scripture in Job 5:2, resentment kills a fool. After we examine those relationships in which we were hurt, we have to turn our attention to those relationships in which we had hurt someone.  You may be carrying around some guilt for something you've done in the past and the best way to get rid of that guilt is to seek forgiveness.  You should seek forgiveness in person as long as it is safe for you and if your pursuits won't cause more harm to the individual or an innocent party.

What about healthy relationships? As we move forward, what are the signs of a healthy relationship? It is important to note that at the core of all of our issues is usually an unresolved relationship issue.  Issues arise in all relationships but healthy relationships deal with the issues in a manner that does not leave a lasting stain.  All relationships boil down to two primary types:  physical relationships with another person or spiritual relationships.

What we want in either case is a healthy relationship which will reduce the chances of having lasting hurt.  From the very beginning God has been serious about relationship.  He created us in His image and His likeness, why, so we could identify with Him.  When Adam ate the fruit, it severed relationship with God.  But God is so serious about relationship that He made a way for us to be reconciled in our relationship with Him.  Not only did He make a way, He became the way.  So when God instructs us to as much as is within us to live in peace with others; He is speaking from a place of experience as well as authority.  He was the only one who could restore peace between Him and His human creation.

So, if God is that serious about relationship, don't you think we should be also?  Our primary issue though is many times we don't recognize a bad relationship nor do we understand or know the characteristics of healthy relationships.  It all begins with having a healthy heart. Jesus said, that “out of the heart” (Matt. 15:18-19) flows what comes out of the mouth.

However, once you get a healthy heart, you don't want to mess it up by putting the wrong stuff in there.  That's like going through a weight loss program losing 50 pounds and then for the following month eating the fattest food you can find.  A healthy heart can enter into healthy relationships. Healthy relationships are central to recovery.  A healthy heart involved in healthy relationships is the precise opposite of a heart filled with hurt.  Hurts, habits and hang-ups mark our lives with secrecy, pain, and fear. Genuine love, on the other hand, is marked by openness, trust, and the freedom to give oneself to another.

These signs came from Stephen Arterburn’s book: Regret Free Living: Tools for Building Strong, Healthy Relationships

1. Reality vs. Fantasy. Healthy relationships are based in reality. Each person is aware of his own strengths and weaknesses. There is no need to hide or to try to fool the other. Each person is also aware of the other's strengths and weaknesses. There is no need to pretend that problems don't exist or to tiptoe around "unmentionable" areas. If the partner is weak in some area, he or she accepts it and helps accommodate or strengthen it.  Unhealthy relationships, by contrast, are based on fantasy. What could be or should be replaces what is. The elements of unreality become the focus. The relationship is built on a foundation that isn't really there.

2. Completing vs. Finding Completion. In a healthy relationship, each person finds joy in sharing in the other person's growth, in playing a role in "completing" the other.  In an unhealthy relationship the focus is on completing oneself. This selfish dynamic is at the heart of codependency. Too many people fling half a person into a relationship, expecting that it will be completed by the other. It never works. No one can ever meet such expectations. It is only a matter of time until substitutes are sought - either in the form of other relationships or in the form of dysfunctional and addictive behaviors.

3. Friendship vs. Victimization. A healthy relationship can be described as two good friends becoming better friends. The strongest and most successful relationships - even the most passionate and romantic marriages - have this kind of true friendship at the base. Where this base of true friendship is absent, the relationship is shallow and susceptible to being marked by victimization.

4. Sacrifice vs. Demand for Sacrifice. Few of the magazines that clutter the checkout counters of grocery stores publish articles extolling the joys of sacrifice. But no relationship can grow without it. Unfortunately, most of us are more accustomed to demanding sacrifice from our partner than to sacrificing our selves.  It's one thing to love another when the going is easy. But character and depth are wrought in a relationship when love requires the surrender of preference and privilege. Nothing strengthens a relationship like sacrifice. Indeed, it often seems that the greater the sacrifice, the more thorough the death to self, the greater the potential for the relationship.  Our relationship with God requires sacrifice. His relationship with us required nothing less than the sacrifice of his Son, Jesus Christ. Building a relationship - or restoring one that has been ravaged by the effects of addiction - depends on the willingness of both parties to sacrifice for each other, without demanding anything in return.

5. Forgiveness vs. Resentment. Forgiveness is a miraculous gift between two people. A relationship flourishes when we are willing to forgive past hurts and disappointments. Refusing to forgive is like carrying around a garbage bag full of hurts of the past. Every time someone makes a mistake, we toss it into the bag and carry it with us forever.  There are no garbage bags in healthy relationships. Out of love, the partners take the hurt and disappointment of the past and burn it up in the flames of forgiveness. What greater gift can we give someone than to set them free from the weight of their mistakes? When we unlock others from a past they cannot correct, we free them to become all they can become, and we free our relationships to become all they can becomes as well.

6. Security vs. Fear. Security is a rare commodity in our world. Often people come from such insecure childhoods they can only hope that their adult life will include a relationship that allows them to rest in the arms of someone who really cares. So much of life is lived on the edge of risk, we feel an overwhelming need for at least one relationship to make us feel safe.  The Bible says, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear" (1 John 4:18). When we shift from trying to use others to satisfy our security needs to trying to meet the security needs of others, we find ourselves in a new dimension. We are focusing on their needs, not ours. We are filling their doubts and fears with the reassurance of our consistent behavior. We calm their fears by being reliable. We become, in a word, loving: other-focused and totally selfless. That is the kind of love that drives out fear and provides genuine security.  Security is not the absence of danger, but the presence of God, no matter what the danger.

7. Vulnerability vs. Defensiveness. In a secure environment, a person is free to open up and be vulnerable. It is wonderful to be vulnerable, to do an emotional free fall and have someone there to catch you. That delightful taste of vulnerability enables you to open up even more, discover more about who you are, appreciate all the good that God has created in you.  In a relationship characterized by fear, just the opposite happens. There is a need to build up a wall of defensiveness. If you do not protect yourself, after all, you will be violated, robbed of your identity, controlled, or smothered. The dynamics of defensiveness lead to death rather than to life and growth.

8. Honesty vs. Deception. There is no way to build a lasting, healthy relationship on a foundation of dishonesty. Honesty must be at the core of a relationship; there is no substitute for it. It is fashionable in our day to paper over unpleasant truth. We deceive those we love, rationalizing that keeping secrets is really for their good.  Because of our hurts, habits, and hang-ups some of us will struggle with healthy relationships.  The filter of our past won't let us operate in a manner conducive to healthy relationship with others.  But here is where it really gets ugly, that filter won't allow us to have a healthy relationship with God either. 

We need relationships in order to survive but we don't need unhealthy ones.  Become a healthy person and then connection yourself to healthy people and watch how you thrive in healthy relationships.